Today has been an odd sort of day. Late this morning at work I became aware that the administrative assistant was listening to something on her computer. This is unusual for her as her desk is in the center of the suite of offices and is usually pretty quiet. It turns out she was listening to a news report of a mass shooting less than two blocks from our building. It was a little surreal, actually to hear the sound of sirens howling and helicopters circling the area. As we listened we heard more details about the attacks that left seven people dead. Meanwhile I went on about my business at work. I drove past the area on my way home from work, and by then the choppers had cleared out and the intersection close to where the shootings took place looked as it normally does. Odd to have been in the general vicinity of the crime and have no awareness of it whatsoever. It could’ve been happening in the next state rather than in the next block for all the effect it had on me. I pray for the families of the victims and for all whose lives were shattered by today’s violence.
The purpose of this blog each night is to focus on gratitude and on how to navigate the inevitable challenges of life with a grateful heart. At times like these when acts of violence are being perpetrated so many times a day all over the planet it is hard to make sense of it all. Yet somehow in the midst of difficult times, tragic news, challenging and unsettling circumstances, there is still room to find and express gratitude for life as it unfolds. I am once again grateful for the gift of perseverance and resilience that I see in myself and recognize in others. It is a gift that offers strength during times of struggle and strife; it is a gift that allows us to pull ourselves from the edge of despair and fear and find a way to make it through a hard time and perhaps even find a smile when there seems to be no reason for smiling.
This morning I wrote in my journal about wanting to cultivate the four limitless qualities of lovingkindness, compassion, joy and equanimity. I can’t help but think what an amazing thing it would be I could invite and develop these qualities and manifest them in my life. I must confess to being the most intrigued by joy, which is a fairly elusive concept for me. In the song, “I Smile,” gospel artist Kirk Franklin says, “I don’t want you to be happy, because then you have to have something happening. I want you to have joy ’cause can’t nobody take that away from you.” I like the idea of happiness, but I love the idea of joy. Joy seems to me to be like happiness to the 100th power, that the depth and power of joy extends beyond what we imagine mere happiness to be. I used to think that life was basically unhappy with the occasional glimmers of happiness. Ouch! But I am coming to believe that frequent happiness is possible and that joy might not be as out of reach as I once feared it was. It’s going to require a lot of patience and careful cultivation of this and the other limitless qualities, but the opportunity to become a more joyful, compassionate, loving and equanimous human being is too good not to go for it.
I am grateful this evening simply for the many good things that have been made manifest in my life. Even with all I have “suffered” recently, I still find that I am grateful every single day. This is a good thing. I am going to sleep early tonight and looking forward to the rest. It has been a long, odd, but mostly good day. I look forward to waking in the morning refreshed and ready to start the day.
May we all be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May we know happiness and its causes. May we be safe and protected from harm. May we be health and strong. May we live with joy, ease, and wellbeing. May we be peaceful and happy. So may we all!
