It’s been a long time since I started writing my blog from the Park. It was nice to be back there, and the weather was just about perfect. Because I was sick last weekend I’d been unable to walk and take the dog to the Park. It was good to be there and I find that I miss going there the three to four times per week I used to go. I am nonetheless grateful to spend at least one day per weekend there.
I woke up this morning in a pretty good frame of mind. I wrote in my journal, had my coffee, and had a “meeting” with my son to talk about his future. I think we made some progress, but we still have a way to go in order to help him reach the kind of clarity that I believe he needs. Of course I’ve always recognized how much easier it is for me to help other people achieve clarity in their lives than it is for me to achieve it in mine. This has long been true for me as I have acted as an advisor/counselor to many people throughout most of my life. It has remained true in the years since I’ve become a life coach. Who helps me settle my life issues? I’ve always been kind of a loner in that. At this juncture I’d be happy to identify a mentor or coach who could help me navigate these waters of figuring out my life rather than trying to navigate them myself. Where is Mister Miyagi when you need him?
Learning to navigate the whitewater that is my current life has been interesting. I’ve never gone river rafting (and as a non-swimmer with an irrational fear of water am not likely to take it up any time soon), but from what I can tell it looks like it requires skill, strength, balance, a cool head and maybe a bit of luck. When I picture shooting my life rapids in what looks like a fairly insubstantial rubber raft I would add fearlessness, a sense of wonder at the power of the water, and an adventurous spirit. As I think about my own life rapids, I’m not entirely sure which of the previously listed abilities I possess though I believe I have some of them in pretty good measure. When I think about where things in my life stand at the moment there remain more questions than answers, more that’s unknown and unresolved than what’s clear and settled. I’m in the raft, sometimes furiously paddling with all my strength and other times praying and holding on for dear life lest I tumbled out and bounce downriver sans boat. As much as I look forward to reaching the calmer part of the river, I believe I still have a little more bumpiness before things smooth out. My task is to hang in there and roll with things as best I can.
I’m grateful for the lessons I’m learning on this journey. The “teacher” has appeared off and on throughout the last few years. If I look for a traditional, wise-looking sage or mentor, I am likely to miss whatever person or circumstance has shown up in my life to teach me what I need to know in a given moment about a given situation. Sometimes I have waited for the teacher to appear and the teacher ended up being me, as my own intuition on a given situation provided me the answer I was seeking. I do get weary, so weary at times of battling the currents. Sometimes I let go and let the water carry me where it will. Other times it is my task to stay on course, even if that means fighting against the current. My main hope at such times is that I’ll know when to fight and when to let go. Perhaps my Mr. Miyagi will show up and give me some pointers.
