I find myself once again wordless. Many feelings and emotions bubbling there, dancing just beneath the surface, but I don’t really want to give voice to them tonight. Tonight is one for simple gratitude. I am grateful for the audiobook I’ve been listening to. The writer’s turn of a phrase and the narrator’s rich accent takes me into the heart of the story and I found myself smiling and commenting aloud in my car as I listened. I didn’t smile much today, so I am grateful for having those moments. Even recalling them now puts a smile on my face.
Tomorrow I will have a bit more to say I believe, and perhaps a few pictures to share. Tonight, I will say my prayers and go to sleep. I have an early morning and a long, good day tomorrow. More moments to smile about. I have said that gratitude doesn’t take a day off–as if gratitude were something with a will or mind of its own. What I mean is that my life is full of things for which I can be grateful every single day, there is not a single day when there is nothing for which I can give thanks. I do have my moments, however when I can’t fully articulate them. In that sense, gratitude needs my willing participation if it is going to be expressed in the world. For many of these 300+ days I’ve been writing this blog I have not felt good or happy or even particularly blessed. But as I search, I always find it. Tonight is no exception.
Life is hard for me right now, and I am learning to find ways to be grateful and hopeful and resilient in the midst of all the drama. When life gets easier I hope I don’t stop writing this blog or finding ways each day to express my gratitude for my life and the things that add richness to it. I trust the people around me to keep me going. I can remember at one point telling one of the faithful daily readers of this blog that I was going to stop writing it. He said to me, “I need me some Lessons in Gratitude!” The implication in his words was that I couldn’t stop writing, he depended on reading it each day. I was mildly amazed as I hadn’t realized he read it at all, let alone every day. So, I will keep writing, as best I can, for as long as I can. Even, and perhaps especially when it’s hard. Thanks for giving me another reason for me to keep at it.
I will close, as I have before with a prayer that I now often read at night. I find it comforting. Perhaps you might as well.
God. It is night.The night is for stillness.
Let us be still in the presence of God.
It is night after a long day.
What has been done has been done;
what has not been done has not been done;
let it be.
The night is dark.
Let our fears of the darkness of the world and of our own lives rest in you.
The night is quiet.
Let the quietness of your peace enfold us,
all dear to us, and all who have no peace.
The night heralds the dawn.
Let us look expectantly to a new day,
new joys, new possibilities.
In your name we pray.
Amen.
From A New Zealand Prayer Book – He Karakia Mihinar o Aotearoa. Originally published: U.K.: W.Collins Publishers, 1989.
© M. T. Chamblee, 2012