Is it possible to be too tired to be grateful? I suppose it could be, though that sounds like a pretty weak excuse for not writing one’s gratitude list/journal/blog. I am grateful this evening for rising to the occasion, whatever the occasion happens to be. There are some days when it seem as though Murphy’s law is in full force and if it can go wrong, it does. But at the end of the day there are still more reasons to be hopeful than despairing, to be grateful than grudging, to keep trying rather than giving up. My life is far from perfect (really far!) and it’s not easy, but every day there is good and most days I don’t have to look too hard to find it. I know that it’s an oft-repeated theme of this blog, and it is so for a reason: when I look for things to be grateful for, I find them, which gives me the motivation to keep looking for them and continuing to find them. It’s simply the way things work.
This week has already had some tiring and trying moments, and it’s only Tuesday. Nevertheless, as I work to maintain a sense of equanimity throughout this week, I am also reaching toward those small moments throughout the course of the day that bring a sense of gratitude, peace, wonder, and healing into my life. Today I sat in an unlikely place for finding many of those things–a serious proceeding with implications for the health and wellbeing of a person dear to my heart. How these next few days go will have an impact on the next period of his life. It is no small thing. And yet, even in the midst of the tension and drama I am finding moments of calm. For that I am exceedingly grateful.
And while I am expressing gratitude, I want to give a shout out to my son, who has been through some challenges of his own that parallel those that I went through in 2011. As I was going through my traumas and dramas, he was experiencing difficulties of his own. Though he would probably say that he hadn’t managed particularly well, I would say that he has acquitted himself admirably, all things considered. And though he doesn’t always keep his cool through everything, he has shown significant grace under pressure. He has room to grow, but has already grown tremendously, almost in spite of himself. In the days and weeks ahead he’s got to push through a few more challenges on his way toward figuring out his own “what’s next,” but I’m confident he’ll find his way through. I hope that gratitude becomes part of the light illuminating his path. We shall see.
Over the next few days my writing will be more brief, fewer words and perhaps not achieve my ever hoped-for coherence. But I do commit to continuing to offer at least simple gratitude on a daily basis and hope that it has a positive impact on those of you who read and respond to it. I will continue to write, as best I can, throughout this week’s challenges and will report on the moments of grace and gratitude that I experience along the way.
