At any given time and any given moment everything can change. I mean small things, not the dramatic, life-changing events that catapult some people from one state of being to another. Like some days can be going really badly, they start off rocky for one reason or another and sadness, depression, anxiety, anger or just generalized crankiness can set in. But then sometimes it suddenly changes for no reason at all, and the day gets better and the sun breaks through the clouds and everything feels alright again. On other days you might be cruising along just fine and then whammo! Something hits out of the blue and everything sours. I am fortunate that most of the time mine starts bumpy and improves than the other way around, though in any given day I am likely to fly up and down, side to side riding on my mechanical bull of life. I am accustomed to riding the mechanical bull.
I want to offer simple gratitude this evening. It’s been a long day and I find that either I am not sleeping well or my body is on that “tween” time of readjusting to Pacific time after a few days spent on Eastern time. I’m in the midst of a “tween” time in many ways–waiting to hear the outcome of last week’s mission, trying to move forward on my “what’s next.” So my writing will be brief, but hopefully no less heartfelt for the brevity.
I am grateful this evening for good friends. Tonight my daughter and I went out and had ice cream with my friend Mary and her husband. My friendship with Mary began as work colleagues. Over time we developed a feeling of mutual respect and camaraderie that has developed into a solid, abiding friendship. Over the months of trauma last year, she has been a stalwart, warm, and steady presence in my life–often her friendship was the main thing keeping me from drowning in depression and sadness. While my connection to my siblings and my BFF Pat are deep and abiding, they are also situated thousands of miles away. It’s been a real blessing having someone here locally to spend time with and talk over a wide variety of things. Over the past year I’ve spent a lot of time not just with Mary but also with her family, widening the circle of friendship that much wider. I am grateful for her friendship and support, for her being a good “conversation partner,” and someone I can laugh with. She is one of the best people I know.
These days I find myself grateful for the small blessings, the micro-gifts that populate my life in many wonderful and unexpected ways. Sometimes they are all I have that keeps me going; most times they’re all I need. They can pop up quickly and unexpectedly like a sudden gust of fresh cool air on a hot, humid day. And suddenly the day gets a little bit better, a little easier, a little more hopeful. This morning started bumpy for me. But now as I sit and reflect on how it’s unfolded, I find myself as I often do, simply grateful.
