I’m grateful this evening for the people I have in my life. Family and friends have always been important to me, but lately even more so than ever. My sibs have increasingly “been there” for me as I’ve struggled through the various vicissitudes that befell me many months ago and the consequent lingering aftereffects from which I am slowly emerging. They call and check in with me, encourage me, offer advice and support. One of my siblings, after offering financial support said to me, “Don’t you know I’d give you my last five bucks?” then after thinking about it amended it by saying, “Well, I’d give you $2.50 anyway. If all I had was a dime, I’d give you a nickel.” It makes me smile to think about it now, but at the time it made me cry because it was deeply sincere. I have no doubt in my mind that I am loved, by my siblings, my siblings-in-law, their children and my children. I am loved.
It hasn’t just been family and close friends who’ve helped me. A friend of my old friend Pat–an older matriarch who goes by “Mama Bettye” or “Aunt Bettye” or “Miss Bettye” depending on who you talk to– has checked in with me by phone, the most recent time being yesterday evening. I have never met Miss Bettye in person, but she, along with Pat, has been fasting and praying with me over the last several months for things in my life to take a positive turn. Fasting and praying is definitely an old school approach to life challenges, and a beautiful practice. It hasn’t mattered a bit to Miss Bettye that we’ve never met. She loves Pat + Pat loves me = She loves me! Her words of encouragement make me smile–I kept a voicemail she left me about a month ago and replayed it several times when I was feeling a little down and needed a pick me up. A sweet and loving stranger.
My fellow volunteers at the pantry have become a small community for me as well. The director of the pantry is a faithful reader of this blog. He’s been a great encouragement to me since I first began volunteering there over a year ago. The people I work with continue to cheer for me and offer words of encouragement as I report to them on the various phases of my job hunt. “We don’t want you to leave,” one of them states on a regular basis, “Do you suppose they’d let you off work on Wednesdays so we can keep you here?” Because most of the jobs I’ve interviewed for lately have been out of state, I told her I doubted I could manage the commute, but I appreciate the sentiment. They are a terrific group of people of whom I’ve grown quite fond, and yet, I don’t know most of their last names. We know what we need to know about one another. Last names haven’t seemed all that important. Sweet and loving strangers.
I am grateful to have a good therapist–not simply someone who asks me how I feel about something (as with the stereotypical therapy line, “And how do you feel about that?), but who nudges and sometimes provokes me out of an occasional sluggish funk and into expressing some real feelings. On one occasion recently she asked me a number of provocative questions which ultimately elicited a somewhat high volume tirade punctuated by a stream of expletives and invectives that I hadn’t realized I was so capable of. When I later wrote to apologize, she shrugged it off saying she’d poked at me because she knew I needed to release some of the toxic junk I’d been carrying around. She has continued seeing me regularly even though I long since ceased being able to pay her–she claims we’ll work it out in barter or some other way, but that has not yet materialized. When my ship finally does come in I’ll look forward to sending her a hefty check out of the blue. While I would love to see her face when she gets it, I’ll likely be living someplace else by then. She has been and is an anchor for me as I’ve wrestled with depression and anxiety over these months, and I am truly thankful for her steadying presence in my life.
Thinking about all the good people I am blessed to have around me reminded me of a quote that I had to go check on Google to see who said it, “Remember no man is a failure who has friends.” (It’s from the film “It’s A Wonderful Life.”) I had remembered it as “no man is poor who has friends,” but the sentiment is clear in any case–when you have people in your life who love and care about you and whom you love and care about, you are truly blessed indeed. I am grateful for all the people in my life–my encounters and interactions with them–good and bad, beautiful and painful–have helped shape who I am and how I show up in the world. May they all know happiness and the root of happiness. So be it!
