Tonight I conked out on the sofa, nodding off having eaten dinner and watching the news with one eye. I am tired. But that has been the normal state of affairs over the past several weeks, and is likely to continue in the weeks ahead. And I’m alright with that. In the midst of the hectic activities of packing, working, job hunting, and the mundane aspects of daily life, being tired at the end of a long day makes sense.
I am grateful to have a number of really terrific people in my corner, cheering for me, supporting me, listening to me. I’ve written a lot in this blog about my friends and family who have been so important to me throughout my entire life, but over the past couple of years in particular. Their love and caring has sustained me through challenging times and I deeply appreciate their constancy in my life. I want to write tonight, though, about a few other people to whom I might periodically refer, but have not spent much time writing about. I had just been thinking about one of them and she called me tonight to check on me, which she has done increasingly in the past few weeks. I am grateful tonight for three “professional” people in my life: my doctor, my acupuncturist, and my therapist, all of whom at one point or another have played prominent roles in helping me to maintain my wellbeing in what has been a decidedly tumultuous time in my life.
My doctor has done for me what many doctors do: she’s listened to me talk about my various ailments over the years and suggested ideas, prescribed solutions, made recommendations, etc. It wasn’t so much what she did, it’s how she did it–with humor and compassion and genuine concern. I haven’t seen her in almost a year–I had gone to her when I started experiencing chest pains and potential heart issues (it turned out to be largely stress related and no apparent heart disease.) She took all the correct medical measures to ensure my health, but also in recognition of my limited finances went out of her way to suggest money-saving alternatives, provide free samples, and help out in whatever ways she could. And while I have no particular physical complaints these days, I will be sure make an appointment to go see her before I leave the Bay area. I am grateful to her for the care she’s provided in the seven years I’ve lived out here.
My acupuncturist is another wonderful human being. Besides her skill as a healer, her calm demeanor and compassionate caregiving were invaluable to me over the years. Even after I’d lost my job and I could no longer afford health insurance let alone alternative medical treatment, she still advised me on ways I could maintain mental and physical health without prescription medication. As was the case with my medical doctor, it was the combination of what she does and how she does it that makes her such a wonderful healer and good human being. Almost a year ago she guided me through a nutritional cleanse process, teaching me the importance of certain types of foods in maintaining health. It was an important learning time for me and though I’ve fallen off the wagon a bit in terms of healthy eating, the principles remain with me and I plan to get back to them in the months ahead. I will be sure to seek her out in the next few weeks.
The most important of the professional healers in my life is my therapist. We first started seeing her for family therapy not too long after my daughter and I first moved out here to California. My daughter wasn’t adjusting too well to life out here and was making life a bit challenging for me and my partner. It seemed like family therapy might help. Over time as my daughter matured through her rebellious phase and life got a little easier, our focus shifted from family therapy to couples therapy. And when my relationship with my partner ended, I continued to see my therapist to do individual work. I am immensely grateful for my therapist. She has been an anchor for me during the difficult days of the past 18 months. She has shown incredible kindness and generosity over recent years as I dealt with the death of my father in September 2010, the subsequent losses of my significant relationship, my job, my home and other challenges that swept over me in the first months of 2011, and the intense stress I’ve experienced throughout much of 2012. Through it all she has encouraged me, guided me through a variety of serious issues, and helped me draw on my own inner resources of resilience and perseverance. In short, she saw things in me that I couldn’t see for myself, often holding up a mirror reflecting back to me what she was seeing. She helped me see what I was made of and reminded me that I was growing and making progress even when I didn’t feel like it.
I am grateful for these three professional women who have been instrumental in helping me maintain some semblance of health and wellbeing in the midst of seriously trying times. My therapist in particular, who has seen me weekly throughout this time even though I haven’t been able to pay her, has played a vital role in helping me stand strong and stay sane. I owe her a debt of deep gratitude which I hope some day to be able to repay. I hope that as I move on to my what’s next I can find other wonderful professionals like these three I have been blessed to know. May it be so!
