I spent a pleasant time this afternoon reclaiming a big portion of my house. In fact, the main public space–the combination living room-dining room–is now fully habitable, with nary a box in sight. As much as I would like to take credit for this transformation, I owe deep thanks to my oldest sister, who was the chief architect, organizer, and foreman. A few weeks ago when I first moved into my house, she’d been out of town. I was able to hang out with her at her house two weekends ago, at which time she’d committed to coming up to my house this weekend to “help with unpacking and offer some decorating suggestions.”
My sister is an artist (she creates very beautiful prints through a process that I can’t quite recall the name of.) She has a good eye for color and is way more creative than I am in visualizing a space and making it come to life. Both of my older sisters are good at this and wonderful decorators in their own right, and my younger sister has an equally good eye for color, not only in home decor, but also in fashion. I, unfortunately got none of this particular gift. Alas, everyone is good at something; the visual arts are not my strong area. I am grateful and indeed fortunate to have three talented sisters all within a short drive of my house.
I must confess that my sister was a taskmaster, keeping me working long after I would have quit for the day. “Come on, let’s get rid of the stuff in this box…let’s unpack that box and put those clothes away. Let’s get rid of this stuff…” She’s threatened, er, promised to come back next week and help me finish my bedroom and “get rid of all those boxes in the guest bedroom,” which I’ve euphemistically been referring to as the “box room.” My house doesn’t have a garage or a basement–those two places where you stash all the stuff you don’t know what to do with. Right now, I have the box room and the attic, in which so far I’ve only placed empty boxes that are in good condition and I want to hold onto in case I have to move again sometime soon (gods forbid!)
I am grateful for what we were able to accomplish today. As important as it was to create a truly comfortable living room, what was equally important to me was that I wasn’t doing it alone. Over the past 18 months, much of what I’ve done and how I’ve lived my life was for myself, by myself. I’ve mostly done what I’ve done on my own. This is why back in California I still had unpacked boxes stacked up in my old condo from the day I moved in and for the entire time I lived there. I lacked the will, the energy, the motivation and the creativity to unpack them all. I viewed that place very much as a way station, a temporary place to live where I could lick my wounds and try to recover from the series of unfortunate events that had befallen me and landed me in the condo in the first place. In short, I didn’t want to be there, and so I never really allowed myself to settle in there. This will not be true here in my new house, certainly not if my sister Michaele has anything to say about it.
One thing has been clear over these months while I was in California and as I prepared to move here, and now that I am here is that I am not in this alone. Each of my siblings and my children have been in this with me. My ex-husband, my best friend Pat, friends back in California have made their presence known and felt when I was struggling to cope with everything that I was facing. So many precious beings, seen and some unseen have assisted and guided me as I’ve walked this path toward my what’s next. Even at times when I felt most lonely, I nonetheless knew that I was not alone. For that awareness I am deeply grateful. It kept me afloat many times when I would have given up.
Because my sister was willing to give up her afternoon and work with me, I have now taken a huge leap forward in settling in and making my house a home. While I’m in no way finished with the work, I am well on my way. There’s little doubt in my mind that between my three sisters I will be settled into a very homey house come Christmas and the end of the year. As important to me as “home” is, I am more grateful for this than I can say.
