I am amazed, though not distressed to be at the end of another weekend and the start of a new week. When I look at my to-do list from last week (much of which happens over the weekend) I realize that I crossed very little off of it. Hmmm, I wonder if I should feel bad about that. At the moment, I am finding it hard to do so. What has been done has been done. What has not been done has not been done. Let it be. So I am not sweating what I didn’t get done from my list and am not anxious about about a half dozen other little things that briefly crossed my mind. I am grateful tonight for not sweating the small stuff and being increasingly clear about just how much of the stuff of my life is small stuff, all things considered.
The difficulties we all face are relative; there are so many factors that determine whether an obstacle or challenging circumstance or any of a number of unfortunate occurrences rise to a serious enough level to cause great discomfort or distress. Each of us has varying degrees of tolerance for pain and discomfort. And so what can be considered “small stuff” to one person could be very significant “big stuff” to another. I am not sure where I come down in all of this, likely somewhere in the middle. When I think of all the blessings of which I’ve been beneficiary, I’m sure they greatly outnumber the misfortunes in my life. I have had my share of challenges, and the last 18 months held some burdens that weighed very heavily on my mind and heart. I had times when I wasn’t sure I would “make it.” But what does “make it” really mean anyway? Was I going to die? No. It was an unpleasant, angst-ridden, difficult period for me, from which I am still recovering and healing. But I was not in physical danger, and as much as I felt like I was on the edge of serious trouble, at no point would I have gone hungry, homeless, or lacked basic needs.
God, in the form of my siblings and friends, kept me encouraged and holding enough hope to hang in when things felt very shaky. I am grateful for the strength I developed during the difficulties, but even more than that, for the sustaining, supporting love and assistance from people close to me provided a net of safety that meant I was never in any real danger of falling. And now I apply my strength, adding it back into the reservoir, to be used in the service of my family and friends who are struggling in some way. My intention is to pay it forward. You can’t always pay people back directly for the many ways in which they’ve helped you. Sometimes it’s about helping out whenever, wherever and whomever you can, knowing that your intentions and “good works” go on account for the benefit of all. I am perhaps not articulating this as well as I’d like, but I hope my meaning finds its way into your understanding.
Like most people I have daily concerns, frustrations, anxieties, as well as insights, joys, inspirations, etc. Underlying it all is a deep sense of thankfulness for my life and for everything around me, including the challenges. I have a lot to learn, but I have gained so much from turning my attention to gratitude. I look forward to the journey, new lessons learned and new learning partners, fellow sojourners to accompany me on the path. Thank you for joining me, whether for the first time or the 500th. I’m glad to have you along.
