Today has been an odd sort of day, one of those that feels like two separate days. Of course this has been an odd sort of week as I think about it. I have relived the dismay of watching my sick child suffer and feeling relatively helpless to know what to do for her. I’ve experienced this phenomenon many times over the years with both children, and though we are now much older and I no longer panic like I did when they were babies, it’s still difficult to watch. I contemplated staying home from work today to be with my daughter, though there was little to be done to help–we were doing all we could and she continued to feel worse. Again I was reminded of the many times over the years when I stayed home from work to nurse the kids, more often providing comfort to go along with the various medicines and remedies.
“It’s okay, Mom. If I were back at school I’d be taking care of myself anyway.” Oh yeah, I guess that’s right. Why is it that I’m suddenly hearing the song “Sunrise, Sunset” playing in my head.
Is this the little girl I carried?Is this the little boy at play?
I don’t remember growing older
When did they? Sunrise, sunset
Sunrise, sunset
Swiftly flow the days One season following another
Laden with happiness and tears
I went to work, deciding that in fact there was little I could do for her. No sooner had I arrived then she called to let me know that she’d heard from the clinic and was diagnosed with strep throat. I spent a few hours at work in meetings I really needed to have then drove home, stopping past the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that should help her get on the mend much faster than the salt water gargles were. So I expect she’ll be feeling a bit better in a day or two.
Mama said there’ll be days like this. This evening I was cranky, and focusing on gratitude is much more challenging when one is cranky and kids are sick and bills aren’t paid. But as I look around me, I still see so many things I am grateful for. The biggest of these today is that we were able to learn what was wrong with Michal and get her what she needs to get well. Even though she’s not a baby, she’s my baby. I want her to feel good and be ready to go out this weekend to get our Christmas tree. The poor kid’s been here almost a week and has been sick the whole time. Tomorrow will be a bit better for both of us.
Tonight as I take my rest I will count my blessings. Regardless of whatever challenges I may face, I still retain the capacity to quiet my mind and focus on the good things in life. I am exercising my gratitude muscle and feeling the burn. Life is good! I’m going to celebrate it tonight and look to tomorrow with anticipation for more good. May it be so!
