Wheeeeeeee! Today has been quite a ride on Mephistopheles the mechanical bull. I’ve been spun around, jolted high and low, whipped around and have lived to tell the tale. The on-off switch was stuck in the on position and I was flying around pretty much all day. It wasn’t quite my usual ride, there are shades of difference that I’m still discerning. But what I know for sure is that it was one of those days that has really hard pieces to it balanced wildly by really great pieces and while I’m grateful on the whole, the lengthy ride has left my legs wobbly and my arms trembling from holding on for dear life. All in all, I am finding myself in a good, if exhausted space this evening.
I was getting ready for an event we had at work this evening that was a commemoration of the life of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I was looking for a particular quote that I wanted to use in some remarks I was giving, and in searching I found a powerful quote that I jotted down so that I could write about it tonight. Dr. King said, “As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways in which I could respond to my situation — either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”
Something internal clicked with me as I read that. At various points throughout this blogging journey I’ve been on I’ve reflected on this very thing: the concept of making a conscious, intentional choice about how I was going to react to the “suffering” I was experiencing. This is still relevant to me today as I continue to face a variety of difficulties that I could characterize as suffering, and while I’m not certain that I have fully transformed my suffering into a creative force as Dr. King suggests, I do know that I have chosen–for the most part–not to react with bitterness or anger. That has been the grace of God operating in my life that I have been able to see beyond the pain and hardships I’ve experienced and see the beauty that is so present in my life. I have incorporated, integrated gratitude and seeking the good into my daily life; it permeates much of what I think and do. While I always have more to learn, to see, to discover as I walk this path, I am ever so grateful for the journey thus far. This from the woman who was screaming at God just the other day. Fortunately for me, God either has really thick skin or a wacky sense of humor or a little of each. In any event, I have learned if not to be grateful for and embrace my suffering, then at least not to be bitter and run away from it.
In the midst of the wild ride today I experienced moments of simple gratitude and appreciation: for the outrageously beautiful weather–it simply is not natural to have 70 degree weather in January. It will be so again tomorrow before reality returns in the form of 30 degrees by Thursday. Still, it was gorgeous today. I so enjoyed the variety of birds that came out today in honor of the weather–two different species of woodpeckers, bluejays, grackles, and my first cardinal (a female) I’ve seen in my yard since I moved here in October. (The Northern Cardinal, one of my favorite birds for most of my life don’t live in California. I was so happy to see her in my backyard today.) And I had my first avian visitor to my bird feeder since I hung it a couple of months ago. (You may recall that my first visitor to the feeder was a squirrel…) I find all these critters wonderful and entertaining. Simply put, they give me joy, and though I miss the antics of the wild turkeys who provided many hours of amusement when I lived in my condo in California, I am so pleased to be discovering the wildlife that lives in my new neighborhood.
I am grateful for the way this day unfolded. It was exhausting but not dull. I won’t bother to try to predict what kind of day tomorrow might be. I will take it as it comes and do my best to react with gratitude, grace and who knows, perhaps a sense of style. May it be so!
