I have been in deep thought over the past few days. During my waking hours my mind is constantly noodling on something, often related to my work and the occasionally thorny issue on the home front. Even during my “down time” when I’m sleeping or vegging out, I can feel a portion of my mind deep in thought. Periodically I put something out that I want my mind to be working on. I’ll say aloud, “I want to put some thought toward ______,” whatever the particular thing happens to be, and then I turn my mind loose to work on it. I will then cease to put conscious thought to it and will let my subconscious take over. My assumption is that my mind is like a computer, it is processing all kinds of things at the same time even if I am only thinking about one or two items. On my laptop right now I have four different programs open. I’m not using them all right now, but they are active on my computer nonetheless. I also have several tabs open in this web browser, but I’m only working on this one at the moment. That is what my mind is doing all the time. I think the brain/the mind is a wonderful, complex machine. I am grateful to have a reasonably high-functioning brain. Tonight my brain is tired…I think too much processing has drained my mental cells. I need to go into sleep mode and see if I can recharge.
Before I recharge I want to set my brain to noodling on yet another thing and invite you into it with me. I want gratitude to go viral. Others have tried this and no doubt met with some measure of success–heck even Oprah had a promotion about gratitude…I don’t really know what happened to it; it sort of faded. At the height of my blog I had about 300 page visits. Now I average between 25 and 50. It spikes around holidays and at random times when more people than the faithful 25 or so happen to read it. I would be less than honest if I didn’t admit the degree of ego involved in wishing a bunch of people read it, and yet I haven’t made a consistent, concerted effort to market this blog. (I have a Twitter account that I don’t really know how to use!) But I’m a big believer in gratitude and the power of enumerating and/or expressing what I am grateful for in my life. So I am putting my processing power to work on the issue of inviting more people to think about and express gratitude for the blessings in their life (even for those things that might not seem like blessings but are disguised.) How about you putting your brain power to work on it as well?
As I close, I want to offer a few words to a friend who is watching a beloved parent go through a serious illness.
Sometimes when you get hard news or are going through struggle, grief, pain, anxiety, loss, fear, depression, it can be particularly difficult to feel grateful. You look around and everything appears bleak. All around you people are going about their daily lives–going to work, shopping, laughing with friends, going to movies–all while your life feels like it’s falling apart. Even in the midst of the struggle and the drama are the little sprouts of beauty and blessing that are sometimes hiding under the snows. In my life I had to start with simply believing the beauty was there and then I gradually began to see it here and there. Eventually, I began to see it everywhere. You might not have to look very hard at all to find things in your life that, even in the midst of this circumstance, you are grateful for. I know this is an unnerving time for you and your Mom (and the rest of the family), but even in the midst of all of this there is beauty. You’ve seen it yourself during the quiet vigils you’ve kept at her bedside, and in the long talks you’ve had as she’s unburdened her mind with all the thoughts and memories she wants to share. There will be challenging days ahead and there will also be moments of grace and lightness. Know that you are buoyed and held up by the prayers and love of your friends and family, and angels seen and unseen.May all beings be free from suffering and the root of suffering, and may we know happiness and the root of happiness. So be it.
