Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody,but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds,and shall find,me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul. by William Ernest Henley, 1875
On more than one occasion over the last few years I have “thanked whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.” I am grateful for the gift of perseverance that has graced my life over the years. When I think about some of the difficulties I’ve faced, I can recall times when I wanted to sit down and simply give up. Frustrated, despairing, angry, depressed, I couldn’t always see how I was going to make it through, but somehow I managed it. I owe that to the grace of God and the knowledge that I simply couldn’t give up. I also owe it to the examples I see in the people around me who in spite of their challenges still get up each morning and go to work and live their lives to the best of their abilities.
As I look upon my life, I continue to seek and find the many blessings–obvious and not so obvious–that surround me every day. By some measures my life isn’t carefree or easy, but by many, many others I live a very blessed life. As usual, it is a matter of perspective.
Every morning, I write in my journal at least four simple phrases of well-wishing associated with the Buddhist practice of metta, lovingkindness. I begin by offering them for myself and in turn offer them for my loved ones, acquaintances and “enemies,” and ultimately for all sentient beings. It’s like a daily prayer that I offer on behalf of us all, and as I offer the metta phrases I often picture and hold the images of certain people in my mind and heart, wishing happiness and an end to suffering for them.
May I/they/we be peaceful and happy. May I be safe and protected from harm. May I be healthy and strong in my body, mind, and spirit May I live with joy, ease, and wellbeing.They are simple enough phrases, and as I walk through each day, reciting them, sending good wishes out into the world, I know that I change the environment around me, that where I choose to put my focus affects my energy and that of people around me for the better. Sometimes this phenomenon is more obvious than at others, but I believe it to be true and am seeing the impacts of this in my own life.
So I am grateful that I have persevered through challenging circumstances and have come through them with my faith not only intact but stronger. That faith doesn’t look like it used to back in my regular church-attending days, but in many ways it’s stronger than it ever was back then. I am on an interesting path at the moment, moving inexorably forward toward a new “what’s next” that I have a feeling is going to surprise even me. In the meantime, I am content to let things unfold as they will. Every day offers new opportunities to learn, grow, and be grateful.
