As was predicted and as so many of us had hoped, we got our “snow day” today. When I woke this morning I had a text message and an email from our school letting us know that the campus would be closed today and would be evaluated as to when it would reopen tomorrow. In spite of the fact that we got the day off, the snow itself was extremely disappointing. When I took the dog outside this morning we were greeted with a wet, heavy, slushy mess. I had hoped it would be that nice quality snow that you could play in. I had briefly fantasized about going out and building a snow man, but it is not to be.
What I can say with great relief is that I did absolutely nothing today except rest: listening to my audiobook, dozing, playing solitaire on my computer. I can’t really say that I feel more than an occasional twinge of guilt that I haven’t done anything constructive–I’ve mentioned in past blogs that when one is an overachiever the idea of not accomplishing something, anything is barely tolerable. Nonetheless I have resisted the temptation to bemoan my lack of productivity. I am grateful to have given my body much-needed rest.
I have a lot to learn about self care, to understand the importance of taking the time to nurture myself, working toward physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. You would think it would be easier now that I live essentially alone, with Honor as sole responsibility at home. But I find I still struggle with envisioning and enacting various strategies to ensure that I’m taking care of myself. I think that for the most part I take care of my physical wellbeing, though I need to exercise more. I am aware that I need to do more to enhance the mental (intellectual), emotional, and spiritual aspects of my life. To that end I want to develop a plan for myself to take intentional steps–even making some “micro changes”–toward strengthening my overall wellbeing.
Women are generally not good at taking care of ourselves. We learn to take care of others around us–family, coworkers, friends–but rarely give sufficient time and attention to ourselves. Meeting the needs of others is a good and important thing we do–especially those of us who are mothers–but to do so at our own expense is not healthy. I have a friend who has spent much of her life taking care of and doing things for other people. She rips and runs so much that she rarely takes the time to sit down, put her feet up and relax. Even when she calls to chat with me on the phone, she usually does so while she’s cooking meals for her family, folding laundry, and transacting all kinds of business. She doesn’t really know how to take care of herself. I have found myself fussing at her about her need to take better care of herself: at one point I told her I wasn’t keen on the idea of having to come out to her funeral, that if she kept pushing herself things would not go well for her. She’s taken heed and is doing better at it.
Then there’s my friend who is helping take care of her seriously ill mother. I’ve mentioned to her recently that she needs to be sure to take care of herself in the midst of all her caregiving responsibilities. So often we can wear ourselves out; that in our desire or need to serve and assist others we ourselves fall apart.
I’m not sure yet what my self-care plan will look like, but I know that I want to pull something together for myself that I can start acting on right away. While I am indeed grateful to have had a snow day today, I can’t depend on meteorological events to determine when and how I take time to care for myself. No, I have to learn to do that for myself. I think I’ll start things off tonight by getting off my computer and getting to sleep early. May we all learn how to support and nurture ourselves, creating opportunities to refresh and restore our sense of wellbeing and happiness. So be it!
