I am not a big fan of trite expressions; I mean, who could be, when by their very definition they are “platitudinous, vapid, commonplace, stereotyped, overused, overdone, overworked, stale, worn out, timeworn, tired, hoary, hack, unimaginative” and a number of other synonyms. I was simply going to use the word “irritating…” Nevertheless this morning as I was giving myself a pep talk, I remarked aloud, “happiness is a choice.” And, as trite as that expression is, as many times as it has been repeated to the point of being virtually meaningless, it is true nonetheless. That is not to say that by simply standing up and declaring, “I choose to be happy!” that anything will necessarily change in my life to move me from where I currently am to immediate happiness.
One thing that has been equally clear to me as I continue to navigate my way toward a greater sense of contentment and wellbeing is that this is a lifelong process, a journey rather than simply a destination at which you ultimately arrive, unpack your bags and celebrate having “made it.” When my life hit some serious speed bumps a few years ago, I made a conscious choice to be grateful every day, and as best I could, to be happy. Mind you I didn’t really have much of an idea what being “happy” even looked like, particularly given the circumstances under which I was living at the time. Still, I determined within myself that in spite of how hard things felt, I would strive for ease and wellbeing. Wait–strive for ease?
I’m grateful this evening for having chosen a path toward happiness. Some days I feel closer than others to achieving at least a state of contentment if not outright happiness; other days I feel the blues and joy and contentment seem far, far away. I think about some of the people I’ve known and how they measure happiness. I find it fascinating that people who should be happy–those fortunate folks who seem to “have it all,”–are often desperately unhappy. So whatever happiness is, it is not necessarily about the possession of material wealth, or the perfect relationship, or the perfect anything for that matter. There are examples all around of people living on limited means who are nonetheless happy and enjoy a better overall quality of life than people who have much more than they do. They have chosen to be happy and while they no doubt have down days continue to do so.
What does it take to do this, to make this choice? Sometimes I think it’s sheer force of will. I made a conscious choice a few years ago to hold on for dear life as my life unraveled. At first it was all I could do to simply get out of bed and take several small steps away from the abyss of despair that could have easily engulfed me. But as I wrote yesterday, small steps are steps nonetheless, and over time I was able to move into a much more positive frame of mind. It was during this time that I discovered the power of gratitude: I learned to look for all the blessings in my life, large and small, that brought me joy or peace or simply a smile to my face. The decision to look for the blessings, even in the midst of sadness and grief, has led to a deepening of my belief that happiness is possible and a determination to reach for it every day as best I can.
I am grateful for the strength of will that has allowed me to move in the direction of happiness, even when it has felt difficult. Each morning as I prepare to greet the day, I offer well wishes for myself and for others that includes a wish to be peaceful and happy. And at the close of the day, I offer thanks for the blessings in my life. May we each come to know happiness and peace, joy, ease, and wellbeing as we journey on this path of life. So be it!
