Today has been a really good day. I am grateful to have spent the entire day away from my house engaging in a variety of activities, most of which were outside in the wonderful spring weather and all of which involved family. Honor and I ventured forth from the house at around 10:30 this morning and returned at around 8:30 this evening. We started the day hanging out with one my sisters; I was helping her develop plans for her vegetable garden and offering my sage advice on what she should plant where and when. She and I then drove over to a local high school soccer field to watch our younger sister’s daughter play soccer. I was pleased to watch her play–it’s the first time I’ve ever seen her and to make it even better, she scored the tying goal. Her team won 2 to 1. After the soccer match we went back to M’s house to finish the garden plan. She still has a few decisions to make before purchasing seeds and plants and doing all the planting. I would have loved to join her in the planting, but it’s for her summer home several hundred miles away and I’m not likely to be able to take time off to go help with the planting. A few hours later I was at my sister Ruth’s (the “soccer mom”) house for dinner. I have a open invitation for Sunday dinner and it has now become a highlight of my week to spend that time with her and her family.
I am glad to be part of a large family. I suppose large is all I’ve known, so there’s no basis for comparison, but I like having siblings. Although I’m not sure I fully appreciate my birth order: being the fifth of six has definite downsides. And, perhaps life could have been a little easier with a couple fewer of us, but whose to say? The world would be a much different (and poorer) place without each of the six of us in it. I am grateful to have siblings. They were built-in playmates, friends, and in my case as one of the youngest, protectors. Let me tell you, nobody bullied me while I was in the same school as my two older brothers.
When I think about various the experiences I’ve had and the things I’ve learned about life–good and not-so-good–from my siblings, I realize how valuable those relationships have been for me. I would not trade them for anything. We haven’t always gotten along: there have certainly been periods of estrangement between various members of the family, including some more recent ones. But in spite of our differences I firmly believe that we each would be there for the other if there was great need. Even when folk aren’t necessarily speaking, in a pinch they’d be there to help.
From an earlier post (September, 2011), I shared these thoughts about family:
“I know that for many people their families of origin are not their families of choice. I am fortunate to have family members that I love and respect and enjoy spending time with. I count my siblings among my close friends. Harper Lee (“To Kill a Mockingbird”) said, “You can choose your friends but you sho’can’t choose your family, an’ they’re still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge ‘em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don’t.” Well I didn’t have any choice about who my kin are, but I figure that for the most part, I lucked out. And for that, and for each of them, I am most grateful.”
Each day when I offer my lovingkindness meditations, I offer well wishes for my family and loved ones. Often I call them by name, particularly if I know that one of them in particular is going through a challenge and can use the extra good intention. Throughout the day as one or another of them crosses my mind I pray for them. There is not a day that goes by when they are not present in my conscious thought, and of course I carry them in my heart and spirit even when I’m not consciously thinking about them. I am so very grateful for each of them and the unique places they hold in my heart. May they experience happiness and the root of happiness. So be it!
