Mama said there’ll be days like this. I woke up a little bit cranky, I confess. My journal entry for this morning will attest to that. Still, I gradually pulled myself together and managed to function well through the day in spite of the rocky start I got off to. I ended the workday on a slightly bumpy note, though managed to have one good final conversation before I left the office to get on the road. Then there was the commute. I knew I was in trouble when the bad traffic started several miles ahead of where it usually did, and though for a while I was diverted from my audiobook (I am listening Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”) after a while my patience was sorely tested. When I finally rolled up to the house, an hour and 45 minutes had elapsed.
I emerged from my car cursing and muttering under my breath and found I had little of the humor with which I usually try to greet the dog as she happily greeted me. When I checked the mailbox I extracted from it an envelope from my daughter, and as I walked the dog around the yard I noticed a vase of flowers on the front porch. My ill temper moderated somewhat as I retrieved the vase and brought it into the house, the fragrance of the bouquet filling the room. My humor slowly improving I sat down and ate my dinner about an hour later than usual, taking time to chat with one of my sisters who’d called with some good news. A bit later I phoned one of my brothers to thank him and his wife for sending me the flowers, a belated birthday gift.
Finally, at the close of this day which induced such crabbiness, I remembered that I hadn’t opened the envelope from my daughter. When I finally sat down to read the letter it contained I was taken by her loving eloquence as she expressed her appreciation of my “special gifts and talents, of the things I’d taught her, and of who I am as a person. Many parents hope to have a positive impact on the lives of their children, in this I’m no exception. It is so gratifying to see who they are and who they are becoming and know that somewhere along the line I did a few things well. You hope for this, but it’s really nice when your hopes are confirmed by the “children” themselves, and while each of them has told me a number of times in different ways about their relationship with me has shaped them, I don’t often get it in writing!
I am grateful for the connections I have with my family–siblings and offspring. They sustain me through days like today and make me giddy with joy on good days. I am glad for the ways too that I sustain and influence them; I have often focused so much on who they are to me and what they’ve done for me that I haven’t thought a great deal about how I contribute to their lives. While I might have a sense of it from time to time, my daughter’s letter pointed out clearly to me the influence I’ve had in her life. “You in essence are always with me–in the songs I play, the way I make it through, and in the ways I treat other people. I am an amazing human being because you are.” Powerful words to take in. May I continue to live up to them.
Birthday Bouquet
