Tonight I am grateful for the gift of resilience: “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.” Today was a bit of a struggle. It could have been a variety of things that affected me–from irritating work emails (which I perhaps shouldn’t be reading while I’m away at a conference), to unsettling phone conversations, delayed reaction to the anniversary of my mother’s passing–a bunch of things simultaneously collided, leaving me a bit unsteady. I left in the middle of a conference session and headed up to my room. I buried my face in a hand towel, fully expecting to let go, but beyond shedding a few tears couldn’t quite get there. So I sat in the easy chair in my room, computer on my lap and tried to do a little work. Ultimately I conked out, laptop on my lap, and napped for about an hour, which is what I needed.
I suppose I’d hit a bit of a wall. The other night I wrote about being a warrior in a sense, having battled on behalf of people from various “marginalized” groups for many years now. At times it seems like a thankless job: people sometimes fail to see the value in the work that many of us do. I am at a conference surrounded by many colleagues who do similar work at colleges and universities across the country. Being around fellow warriors can be both refreshing and demoralizing as we exchange “war stories” about some of the challenges we face in trying to make the world a more accepting and hospitable place for everyone. Sometimes in the midst of the “war” we forget why we are doing what we do. It’s helpful to get a reminder.
This evening I checked my Facebook page and had a message from a young person whom I’ve known since she was a high school student participating in one of the summer programs I designed to get students interested in particular career fields. She’d participated back in the mid 1990s–a long time ago. Here is what she wrote:
“I wanted to write you today. I got a promotion at work, my biggest yet and I was sitting here thinking “how did I ever choose parks and rec”! I truly and honestly owe you for all your work with [the programs] which introduced me to this field! Your work and your program changed my life as I am sure many others. The summers I spent learning in your programs and the years learning from you have a huge part to do with who I am becoming and u wanted to tell you THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.”
Should by some chance I ever forget why I do the work I do, it’s because of the impact that it has on students like this one who took the time to write and let me know about it. “Oh yes, this is why I do what I do;” why I put up with the often aggravating bureaucracy that comes with the territory. It’s why I keep working with people when what I’d love to be doing is raising animals on a little farm out in the country somewhere. It’s all good, this walking in my calling. I’ll keep doing it until I get the signal that I can lay down my warrior’s implements and move on.
I’m grateful for the resilience that has allowed me to bounce back from traumas and setbacks great and small. It allows me to be present to and for the people who need me to be there and responsive to them. It also helps me be present to myself, which is also an important component to why I am here. So much to do. I continue to ask the Universe to provide me with the strength and motivation to keep it up. May it be so.
