What’s it all about, when you sort it out Alfie? Are we meant to take more than we give, or are we meant to be kind?
This morning as I drove to work, I was listening to the song “Alfie,” by Burt Bacharach and Hal David, written back in 1965 for the film of the same title. The song has always resonated with me, as it did again this morning as I played and replayed it (several times) singing really loud and pondering the words. One of the lines that stands out for me is “If only fools are kind, then I guess it is wise to be cruel.” So often people who have gentle spirits, kind and loving hearts are thought to be weak somehow. I grew up with such a person: my “baby sister.” At one point during our childhood when she was being bullied by the another little girl next door, my brother and I commenced to teaching her how to fight. I’d hold my hands out, palms facing her and encourage her to punch my hands, telling her to pretend she was punching the neighbor girl.
“Jab!” I’d shout and Ruth would throw a jab.
“Uppercut!” I yelled and she would come up with an uppercut.
“Cross!” I’d holler and she’d swing a wicked left cross.
After what was probably some minimal amount of “practice” we deemed her ready to take on the little neighbor girl. “So the next time she starts to harass you, kick her butt,” I encouraged, practically shoving her across the yard and over to the neighbor’s yard. When she came home some time later and I asked her what happened, she reported that she “just couldn’t do it.” I think at the time I wasn’t surprised, but was a little disappointed. While I wasn’t particularly bellicose myself–not being the type to instigate a fight, I also didn’t back away from them. My mother once was told by my second or third grade teacher that I had been “fighting” on the playground. Like as not I was defending myself, though I’m not sure that’s how it was viewed at the time.
And if only fools are kind, Alfie,
Then I guess it’s wise to be cruel.
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie,
What will you lend on an old golden rule?
Ruth has always been kind-hearted, or at the very least kinder than I. And if it’s true that only fools are kind, then I reckon I am a fool, or at least I’m striving to be one. I want to be like Ruth when I grow up. No, kindness and gentle-heartedness should not be mistaken for weakness. It requires an incredible amount of strength to be kind in the face of all the unkindness in the world around us and to approach everyone as best one can with compassion and love.
As sure as I believe there’s a heaven above, Alfie,I know there’s something much more,
Something even non-believers can believe in.
I believe in love, Alfie.
Without true love we just exist, Alfie.
Until you find the love you’ve missed you’re nothing, Alfie.
When you walk let your heart lead the way
And you’ll find love any day, alfie, alfie…
I’m not sure I ever saw the movie Alfie. I read about the plot line, so I know it’s not my kind of film, but as a songwriter, I love the lyrics. I find myself so grateful for the power of music to transport me someplace else, to lift my mood, to allow me to experience and express pain, joy, peace, and so many other emotions. And love. After all, without true love we’d just exist…
