Today we spent a wonderful day with our cousin Denise, who generously drove my sister and me all over the Twin Cities, though we spent most of our day in Minneapolis. We shared a lot of childhood stories, many about our family. I was reminded again of how fortunate I feel to have grown up with multiple siblings. My dad’s two brothers each had smaller families. And so we had to catch my cousin up on how each of our four siblings are doing, what they’re up to, and what their kids are up to. With the explosion of social media, especially Facebook, my cousin can follow some of my siblings and their kids, but it’s been good to receive as well as give some of the details and backstories to how everyone is doing.
We talked a lot about my father and her father. We analyzed for Denise what we thought about how our father’s life unfolded in the time after our mother died. As I listened to my sister talk about our father and I added my thoughts and comments, I found myself briefly silenced by an unexpected wave of sadness and grief. It always surprises me when something like that hits, but I remember that it’s not quite been three years since he died. It is in fact likely that my “daddy cells” are waking up–around the anniversary of my father’s death as well as the days leading up to his birthday I find myself inexplicably sad. Then I remember that the anniversary is coming up in late September and my general sense of sadness and blueness makes sense. I describe this phenomenon in the blog I wrote on my father’s birthday two years ago.) As I sit writing this evening, that feeling of loss is still with me.
I am grateful to have spent the day listening to my sister share some of her perspectives on our family. I am seven years younger than she is and she has seen and experienced many things I did not or was too young to appreciate. It’s interesting. I came to Minnesota in part to learn more from my aunt and cousin about my father’s brother and their early life together with their other brother and our grandfather. Instead, I was treated to learn more about my own family, as well as reconnect with some of my more poignant memories of my father. That was an added gift. Tomorrow we will hang out more with our cousin at the Minnesota state fair. It wasn’t exactly what I thought I was coming out here for, but it is likely to be a lot of fun. We shall see what other surprises might be in store for us during our time here. No matter how it unfolds, I am approaching it all with a grateful heart.
