I’m grateful tonight for this guest blog written by my daughter, Michal “MJ” Jones. Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Today and for the past several days, my thoughts and feelings have been racing. It is the busiest time of the year for Housing & Residence Life – we are finishing up training our student leaders this week and opening our buildings this weekend. Hallelujah, the students are coming back! Our days have consistently been from 7:30am – 9:00pm or whenever we’re done, but I love my staffs and the people I get to work with.
Although the business has left me with little time for critical reflection, any moment of stillness I’ve been afforded these long weeks has been filled with thoughts around justice, the state of the world, my place in social change, and the spiritual realm – so very lighthearted! For those of you who know me, you know that these concepts and thoughts are not new to me. I have written previously about my calling to be involved in justice movements and play my part in dismantling oppression. I am still finding my place in the how, but I already know the what.
What is newer for me is my involvement in the spiritual realm. Religion and spirituality are not new to me – I am surrounded by it all of the time at a Jesuit institution, grew up witnessing my mother’s spiritual growth and exploration, and constantly heard messages of what/who God loves and who “He” does not. However, my parents intentionally raised my brother and I without scripture, leaving us open to explore and establish our own beliefs. Although I am grateful to them for this decision, I have often wondered how my life would have been different had I been raised in a church or place of worship. As I understood more about my identities and personal beliefs, though, I remained hesitant to branch out to any formal religious practice.
As a feminist, I wonder(ed) why God is almost always a He. As a member of the LGBTQ community, I feared I would not be accepted in places of worship. As a person of color with knowledge of the history of colonization, I understand how scripture has been used as a tool of power and violence rather than love and grace. These were and are all barriers for me that I am working through.
Despite these hesitations and fears, Spirit and God have never been absent in my life. Even as a child, I knew there were things that could not rationally be explained, miracles all around me that had a greater significance than I could or do understand. I had vivid precognitive dreams and strong feelings of intuition that never failed me. I have felt and continue to feel the presence of unseen spirits. I believe I have lived before. My relationship with Spirit has always existed.
Now, in my adult life, I have begun deepening that relationship. I have found a “multicultural, radically inclusive, and charismatic church” where I am not asked to leave any part of myself behind. Love is the foundation of spirituality at Liberation. Music moves us to call and dance in the aisles. Embraces are offered between people of all identities, and I feel safe. To know that I am welcome regardless of who I am is one of the warmest and loving feelings I have experienced in recent years.
“Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I will love who I am.” –Janelle Monae
