Tonight is a good one for simple gratitude. It has been a long day: I was up and out early assisting with a charity golf tournament supporting scholarships for students in one of the programs offered through my office at work. It was cold and blustery for the first part of the day before the sun finally came out and warmed things up. It was a typical autumn day; crisp and cool. Autumn is my favorite season. Very soon the leaves will begin changing and before I know it I’ll have to be out raking them up. I continue to be amazed that the summer is over. One minute it was here and I was enjoying a few days out on the beach in North Carolina, the next it’s 65 degrees and we’re nearly at the end of September. Still, with all that life is good.
I am grateful for the periodic reality check that comes my way. It’s nice to be able to check in with oneself and realize that I have in fact changed and grown. Tonight I received a phone call from a person who had brought a significant hurt into my life some years ago. As a result I limited my interactions and conversation with them because I still felt hurt and heartbroken and was uncertain about how I felt about them. I have done a lot of intentional work on forgiveness. On any given day when I offer prayers and good wishes for a variety of categories of people, I include offering well wishes for people who have injured me in some way. Over time I have found that I’ve been able to move to greater and greater levels of forgiveness. I can tell how much progress I’ve made with particular people by how I react when I think about them. So tonight when my phone rang and I saw who was calling, I knew I had another opportunity to see how I was doing. When all was said and done and we had talked for over an hour, I knew I had taken another step toward greater healing in that relationship.
I have no interest in holding grudges or intentionally remaining angry with people. Forgiveness to me much more favors the person doing the forgiving than the forgiven. It is in my own best interest to practice forgiveness. That’s not why I practice, but it offers a definite benefit. I am grateful for the check in I was able to do with myself this evening in conversation with a person with whom I struggled. The fact that I could talk with them with little to no trace of anger, pain, or bitterness let me know that I’ve made progress. I’m sure I still have work to do, but I’ve come a long way.
Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield leads a wonderful meditation on forgiveness that I’ve listened to a number of times over the past few years. It has been a wonderful guide to helping me both offer as well as ask for forgiveness from others. It’s important to me that I am also aware of the times when I have hurt others, and while I don’t always know everyone whom I have injured, I pray for and ask forgiveness from and healing them, whoever they may be. I’m a big believer in forgiveness. I am grateful for the place it holds in my life and spiritual practice and will continue to develop it throughout my life.
