Lessons in Gratitude Day 819

It is hard to believe that I moved to Seattle well over a year ago. Time has flown much faster than I anticipated, but doesn’t it always? By the time that I blink, it will be over and I will be walking across the stage to receive my Master’s in Student Development Administration. In that time I have had some struggles in transition, have had to work through personal life circumstances as they arose, beyond my control – but never once have I questioned the decision that I made to come to Seattle for my graduate program.

I often reflect on my graduate school choice as an example where I displayed self-authorship – student development jargon for having made a decision I felt was best regardless of external influences or differing opinions. Prior to visiting and interviewing at a variety of campuses, I had several non-negotiable factors for choosing my program: 1) I wanted to be at a large institution because my undergraduate experience was at a smaller university; 2) I would not pay for my Master’s program; 3) I wanted a well-known program with strong emphasis on research; and 4) the program’s curriculum and makeup must reflect commitment to social justice and diversity. NO exceptions were to be made!

But by the end of a busy month of visiting, interviewing, and decision-making, all but the last “non-negotiable” ended up having no significance in my final choice. I knew that coming to Seattle and Seattle University meant that I would be challenged in new ways (i.e. living in a major city for the first time; rigorous academics; working in a new functional area of residence life), and that I would be surrounded by professionals and faculty committed to my success. I was exactly right. The amount of challenge and support I have received here from professionals, friends, and mentors is exactly what I need to be successful and thrive in my experience. Through choosing my graduate school and going against what may have seemed practical or logical, I gleaned (and affirmed) what was actually important to me: A sense of community and belonging, commitment to social justice and equity, and being challenged in new ways. The prestige and competition did not and do not matter.

I again reflect on this experience because I, once again (and too soon!), find myself entering the preliminary stages of my next step: the job search. The combination of finishing graduate classes, preparing to present (and pass!) portfolio, a demanding graduate assistantship, attempting to have a fulfilling social and love life, and now searching for a full-time job seem quite overwhelming. What is more overwhelming is the fact that I have competing interests and am not sure which direction to go in: Do I continue to serve students within an institutional context or branch out into the greater community? How do I remain in touch with reality when working in a university setting? How will I communicate my skills? What is the positive impact I want to have on my surrounding community? A lot remains unknown.

What I do know is that, whatever and wherever my next step ends up, it will be true to me and the values and integrity and justice that I hold. I do know that it will be somewhere that I can bring forth all of myself without fear of judgment or misunderstanding. And so, although the stress of writing cover letters and reviewing job descriptions does sometimes get to me, I am grateful for my ability to discern what I feel to be the best choice for me. I am grateful that I am not in this process alone, but have colleagues and close friends walking with me. I am grateful to mentors who know me, know what I need, and push me in the right direction.

I trust the process, the signs God gives me, my intuition to lead me in the right direction.