I am on information overload. I sat down at my computer a little while ago to do some research to help inform the next phases of my job search. I guess with so many people unemployed there seems to be no end of articles, e-books, newsletters, and other resources offering advice and assistance to job seekers. I read some, scanned quickly through others and printed out reams of pages of information. Tomorrow morning when I have more energy I will read through the longer pieces.
I am relieved at how I am feeling at this moment. When I first crawled up the stairs to my room that doubles as an office and bedroom, I was in no mood to do anything and had virtually no inspiration to write anything. I had been out most of the afternoon working at the food pantry and when I arrived home a little after 5 p.m. I sank on the couch and watched the news for an hour before heating up leftovers for dinner. This day has felt like one of those that Mama said there’d be. Nothing bad happened, I guess I simply hit a bit of a wall the past couple of days. So maybe tonight’s blog will be about simple gratitude.
I can start by being grateful for the basics. I have a roof over my head that’s safe and comfortable. I’ve seen so many people for whom this is simply not the case. Whether through difficult financial circumstance or due to catastrophic natural or man-made disasters, far too many people in this country do not have a safe, comfortable roof over their heads. I have food and the wherewithal to feed myself and my kids and even my dog. There are millions of Americans–including a significant and growing number of children–who don’t have enough to eat, going to bed hungry and waking the next morning hungry. I have gone to bed hungry once or twice in my life and had a day or two when I wasn’t sure when or what I was going to eat that day. But that was one or two days, a few hours here or there. Something always worked out and I was able to eat. In the 20 plus years I’ve been a mother, I’ve never worried about how I was going to feed my children. I cannot imagine being a parent and watching my children go hungry. In many parts of the world parents are watching their children starve to death. These realizations are not about making myself feel better by focusing on what others do not have. It is in part about putting some of the “challenges” I am facing into perspective.
I have moments when I am discouraged, anxious, and at times even a bit panicked about not having a job and the financial uncertainty that goes along with that. And I have no idea what the future holds at this moment. But I still wake up in the morning with some measure of belief that everything is going to be alright and draw on the inner resilience that somehow seems to be there when I need it. There are people around me who won’t let me get so discouraged that I give up. I have resources all around me that I can lean on when necessary. I am not alone in this by any means, and for that I am grateful beyond measure.
Simple gratitude. I am thankful. Sometimes I have no words that can truly articulate the depth and breadth of how grateful I am. Most mornings I wake up saying, “Thank you, God for this day.” And then I go about my business living with however the day chooses to unfold. I don’t walk around whistling a happy tune all day long, sometimes I get cranky, discouraged, and sound anything but grateful. But then the gratitude bubbles up regardless of how awful I might have been feeling and in spite of whatever might have happened during the course of the day. There it is, every day. I think it’s a seed that exists in each of us. Sometimes it sprouts and takes root in our lives and sometimes it lays dormant until something happens to wake it up. I for one am glad it’s rooted in my daily existence and as odd as it sounds (and I’ve said this before) I am grateful for gratitude. What are you grateful for?
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