“Good things come to those who wait.”
As written by one of my favorite authors–anonymous–this expression is feeling truer for me at the moment than it has in a while. While I am generally a relatively patient person, in order to see some things come to fruition in my life I’ve had to take a much longer view. There have been times when I had very little idea about where I was going, what was happening, and how things that looked pretty negative were going to turn out positively. I have definitely swum in the waters of uncertainty over the past few years. It has required a great deal of faith, perseverance, and patience for me to allow life to unfold rather than trying to force things to happen. I am grateful for having begun to develop the patience to wait for good things to come.
Some months ago I felt like I was wading through peanut butter in trying to work through a particular problem. I was struggling to strengthen an important professional relationship that I needed in order for a number of things I was working on to be successful. It seemed that I was making very little progress though I expended a significant amount of energy trying to work with and figure out what made this person tick. Little by little I kept working at it; changing my strategy, focusing on changes I could make in my attitude, studying their personality to see how I could adjust my approach. Week-by-week, with the occasional setback, I pressed on until I finally began to see small cracks in the invisible force field between me and my objective. I still have work to do in forging a solid connection to this person that feels easy and generative rather than wary and less productive, but I am grateful for the progress we’ve been able to make and definitely feel like we’re on the right track.
I have been able to exercise patience in a variety of other settings. What I’ve learned is that, for the most part, exercising patience is almost always what is needed. We might not always have time to let things develop as firmly as we’d like; sometimes we have to move forward with something that’s less clear, less complete, more uncertain. That is the nature of things. But I have found that whenever it’s possible to take a little longer to let something set up, the outcome can be much better than if I’d rushed it. So at times when I am waiting for something and every nerve in my body wants to rush in and take action, I find that if I can resist the impulse to act, choosing instead to breathe, relax my tensed muscles, and hold steady, what happens as a result is worth the wait.
I’ve likened this phenomenon to trying to befriend or make contact with a wild animal. If you chase after it, it runs. You must sit quietly and relatively still, and act as if you’ve no real interest in it whatsoever. You give the creature the space and time to work its way toward you. It is almost as curious about you as you are about it. Gradually, it approaches you until it’s within a pace or two of you. What you do in this next moment is critical. If, in your desire to feed it, touch it, engage it is too strong and you make a move toward it, you startle it and it runs away, and you have wasted the time sitting there and probably your opportunity to connect with that creature. If, however, you remain calm and don’t make sudden moves toward it, it will close the gap and make a connection. I’m not sure how well this works with truly wild animals, but it works with semi-wild ones. The point is this: if I can be patient, make myself approachable and available, and allow things to come to me rather than my trying to force things to happen, I am more likely to meet with success. All that is required is a little patience and self-management.
I don’t want to pretend that I have this patience thing all worked out. I can be as impatient and desirous of instant gratification as the next person. But I have learned a few things, and this concept of waiting and allowing the good to come is a muscle I have been exercising a lot recently, and it is getting stronger. For the patience to wait, to take my time when I really want to hurry, and allowing good things to come to me, I am most humbly and exceedingly grateful.
