Another Sunday evening. It has been a nasty day, weather-wise. First snow, then sleet, then freezing rain, and now just plain old rain. All of this has happened in the span of about 12 hours. For the most part I hunkered down, staying inside except when I had to dress Honor up in her new jacket and boots to go out in the mess. (You can laugh if you want to, but last year my little California girl nearly sat down in the snow her feet were so cold, and I ended up carrying her into the house. This was all about function, not fashion–though the little brown and black suede booties looked very nice with her dark pink, hooded jacket.) I also went out in the morning and bought a bit of gas to ensure that my car starts in the morning. It is interesting how all the various tricks of winter living have come back to me as I go into my second winter away from California.
I find myself again at a loss for words and wanting to head into simple gratitude again this evening mostly because on days like this the things I am grateful for are less profound and complex and are much more basic.
- I am so aware on days like this that there are people all over the area where I live who have no place to call home and precious few places they can go to escape the nasty elements. I am among those who have a warm, safe roof over my head and enough disposable income that I can care for my four-legged companion, buying her boots and a jacket. And while it is out of love and concern for my friend that I can clothe her, I am aware that there are many humans who need boots and a warm coat, not to mention a safe, warm place to get out of the storm. And so I once again offer prayers for the safety and security of all those who find themselves without it; until such time as I am in a position to offer more than prayer I will continue to do so.
- I am grateful for my 13 year old nephew. I am likewise grateful for his 15 year old sister. I have great hope for the world when I look at, think about, and interact with them. My nephew (who is also my godson) is the youngest among my nieces and nephews. He seems to have inherited some of his mother’s gentle kindness and big heartedness. He and his sister also share a rather goofy sense of humor, which I find refreshing and, as I mentioned yesterday, highly entertaining.
- I am grateful for Honor, my four-legged companion. There are moments when I am downright lonely and I am so grateful that I have my friend living with me. I try not to think about her getting older and the awareness that a dog’s time on this earth is all too brief. Honor came to us when we were grieving the loss of our previous canine companion; she came to provide comfort to my daughter who at the time of his death was inconsolable. But after Michal went off to college and Jared and I were forced to move out on our own, Honor became my primary company and has been so in the last year since I left California. At times I suffer pangs of guilt about how much time she spends by herself while I am at work. But she never makes me feel bad, greeting me at the door enthusiastically each day when I get home from work. I hope she knows how much I love her, even when I am stuffing her four paws into the ridiculous booties and snapping her into a garment that must feel more like a straightjacket than something to keep her warm. She endures everything with longsuffering humor and grace.
I sit here in the relative quiet of my bedroom, the occasional pinging of the freezing rain hits my window. There were things I had on my to-do-list that I won’t get done this evening. Some of them were transferred from last weekend’s to-do-list. Still, I find that I cannot allow myself to get too bent out of shape at anything I did not accomplish. On balance, this has been a good day. To lament what I didn’t get done would be to discount what I did. I’ve done enough of that kind of lamentation to know that it is not helpful. It reminds me of the line from the Night Time Prayer from the New Zealand Prayerbook that I post here from time to time, “What’s been done has been done; what has not been done has not been done. Let it be.” And so I shall let it be and do so with a grateful heart. In his book “A Path with Heart,” Buddhist teacher and writer Jack Kornfield reminds us that at the end of our lives the questions we ask ourselves are very simple, “Did I love well? Did I live fully? Did I learn to let go?” I find that these aren’t bad questions to ask oneself at the end of the day. Just for this day, how close did I come to accomplishing those three things? For me, for tonight, I am satisfied with what I managed to do in response to those three questions. And for that, I am grateful.
All Dressed Up and Ready for the Weather
