Tonight’s post is a guest blog from none other than my daughter, Michal “MJ” Jones.
The holiday season is upon us, and with it, some of my favorite childhood cartoon specials (I enjoyed “The Grinch” last night); seasonal treats and warm beverages, and, of course — materialism is abound. I particularly struggle with the mainstream representation of holidays associated with purchasing material goods. Western obsession with capitalism and material possession reaches an all-time low on Black Friday, when we wait in hours and fight over what we don’t have after giving thanks for what we do have! (I also have my feelings about Thanksgiving, but that is for another space…) Even as I enjoy aspects of it, there are many that I find to be challenging. And although I am grateful for the gifts I receive, no gift is greater than time spent rejuvenating from a hard semester’s work, and bonding with my family.
What makes this time of year special to me every year is the chance to connect with my family, some of whom I have not seen for years. Reconnecting with aunts, uncles, cousins and parents reminds me of how blessed I truly am to have such a support system. As I prepare to graduate from my Master’s program and seek my first full-time, “real” job, one of the things I have been struggling with is that, no matter where I go next, I will always be missing someone. My mom and aunts are in DC, I have extended family in Indiana and Philadelphia, an older brother in California, and my father, stepmom, and younger brother in St. Louis. Even if I move to one of these places, I will still be missing someone.
But, perhaps missing them is what makes this time of year so meaningful – and makes me cherish the time spent with them even more. I am grateful for all of the time spent on the phone, and all of the upcoming time I will spend with my families. On Tuesday, I will leave Seattle for several weeks and head to the Washington, DC area to visit my mom and our family. This is the first time I will see mommy in over six months, and I cannot wait to be in her arms again! Even as I grow into more of an adult and make my own decisions, there are still few things that compare to the love and warmth that exists between she and I. (Along with a dose of healthy crankiness, but that’s alright). And, although she sometimes struggles with the idea of “letting me go,” I am not letting go in the sense that I will always be her daughter, and always love her unconditionally. As long as I’m living, her baby I’ll be!
I am also using this “off” time for someone I don’t normally focus on – myself! I have not been the most kind to myself throughout much of my life, and need to prioritize my own self care above all else. I foresee much guitar playing, reading, meditation, sleep, and exercise in my future! I am committed to affirming myself in my truth, power, strength, courage, and wisdom.
I am also grateful this evening for the new adventures I am having now and have ahead of me. Tomorrow I leave with my partner Jennette for my first visit to Portland, where I will meet their* mother and spend some quality time exploring and relaxing. Although our relationship is young, blossoming, and still in the growing stages, I am incredibly grateful for them and the love and respect they have shown me as I grow with them. I am grateful for new friends that I am connecting with on a deep level around our identities, beliefs, and laughter. I am grateful for the cold this time of year and how it brings people together. I am grateful for the people in my life – and while I should never take material things for granted – the memories that will forever warm me involve my family (blood kin, friends, partner, etc.)
Now, I am off to work on gifts that express my love and admiration! Happy holidays.
—————————
*They/them/their is a gender-neutral pronoun. This is hard to remember at times (I slip up occasionally), but never assume that someone identifies in any particular binary way.
**Want to know what to “get me” for the holidays? Please donate to the Philippines and support Haiyan Relief! nafconusa.org
