Tonight I am once again grateful for simple things. Here they are in no particular order.
This morning during my journal writing time I was exploring a little more deeply some of the seasonal sadness I described in yesterday’s post. I gave myself permission to “go there” for a little while and gently probe what the sadness was and where it was coming from. It was not so much to understand it so that I could make it go away; it really was to get a sense of the textures and flavors of it to determine that it was indeed sadness. After spending some time with it last night and awakening to it this morning I decided that it was sadness versus it’s close cousin, depression. I’ve spent a big chunk of my life dealing with depression, and though they can be pretty closely related and, like identical twins, can be hard to tell apart. But based on what I know and have experienced, I am going with sadness. Not that either one is particularly fun to deal with, to be sure.
As I sat contemplating the impact of how I was feeling I became aware of the loud and cheerful sound of the Carolina Wren singing, and peeking out of the window I noticed that the sun was shining in a blue sky and just like that my energy shifted. Oh yes, simple gratitude indeed: grateful that in the midst of thinking through some serious and important issues I can still appreciate the beautiful day and the sweet song offered by the “little bird with a big voice.” It meant that I wasn’t as far gone as I had first worried that I was. I remain grateful for the beauty of the natural world that surrounds me.Tonight as I was preparing to go over to my sister’s house for dinner I was captivated by the spectacular near-full moon that was rising above the trees. The world around me inspires and amazes me in its beauty and complexity. Even when I am at my most distracted, tired, cranky or sad, the sights and sounds of the outside world can immediately transport me out of the mire and reconnect me to a sacred space of grateful appreciation. And as always I am grateful for the relatively smooth functioning of my body and full use of my senses that allows me to take in everything around me and make sense of it.
I have struggled a bit this evening to write this post. While I am grateful every day for many, many things, at times my ability to express myself and share clearly those things for which I am most grateful eludes me. This brings me back to one other thing I am continually grateful for: the small but consistent and varied group of people who read and “like” this blog each day. You are what has kept me going for these 800-plus days and I appreciate your support and encouragement. Among my primary purposes for writing the blog each day has been to inspire others to spend a moment identifying and expressing gratitude for those things in their lives for which they are grateful. If that happens for someone every day, then I have accomplished a very good thing. And for that I remain deeply and humbly grateful.
