One of the downsides of singling out one of five siblings for “special” recognition (though I’m not sure that writing about them in this blog constitutes “special…” not like winning an award of some kind, for example) is that I am bound to leave someone out. This evening I want to correct that error by heaping a huge cache of gratitude on my big sister, Sandy. Sandy is the younger of my two big sisters–she is seven years my senior; a difference that has mattered less and less over the past few decades. I have referred to her many times in my blog, particularly over the past year that I’ve lived in the greater DC metropolitan area, where Sandy has called home for over 40 years; but I have not written about her. I plan to rectify that now.
I have just gotten off the highway after another long excursion with my “road trip twin,” Sandy. Regular readers of this blog will know that Sandy and I trekked off together to Gainesville, Georgia for our family reunion in July where we “talked and laughed all the way through four states and 600 miles.” In August we spent several days together with her family and our sister Ruth and her children on vacation on the Outer Banks in North Carolina, and in September Sandy and I ventured out to St. Paul-Minneapolis, Minnesota to visit with our cousins on our father’s side of the family. We have trekked and traveled Butch and Sundance fashion, logging thousands of miles over land and air. I suppose that next we should take on a cruise of some sort so that we can add “sea” to our means of transportation. I think I can speak for both of us in saying that we’ve had a lot of fun, engaged in some meaningful conversations, and shared some interesting experiences together over this past year. As much as I have appreciated and am grateful for each of those experiences, that is not what I want to focus on this evening.
My relationship with Sandy is multifaceted, multi-layered, multi-textured, wonderful in its complexity and beautiful in its simplicity. And yes, it is possible for it to be all those things. I would say that, while I’ve always loved my sister, it has been over the past couple of years that I’ve come to much more deeply appreciate her for who she is. For one thing, she is generous almost to a fault. She would probably say that has been blessed materially and in my direct experience has no problems giving of herself in whatever ways she can. She was one of my siblings who stepped forward to help me when I went through my series of unfortunate events in 2011 and subsequent struggles throughout most of 2012. I am grateful not simply for the support, but equally for her willingness to lovingly step in without judgment (as in, “how’d you get into this mess?”) or hesitation. She was, of course, delighted when my job search landed me a position in the greater DC metro area, and she provided me and my sidekick Honor a place to stay when we first moved here in fall 2012. Honor and I have been frequent and welcomed guests at her home which she shares with her husband Al and their canine sidekick Blu.
I wish I could capture fully how our relationship has blossomed over the past few years. We’ve spent many hours on the phone discussing a wide variety of life issues each of us has faced. These have ranged from parenting challenges, professional issues (she and I work in similar roles in our respective industries), and a wide range of emotional, intellectual, and spiritual subjects. Since I moved here in October 2012, we’ve been able to hang out in person as well as undertake our epic road trips. And even though we brought companions on this our most recent road trip (her husband and my daughter), it was still the two of us–Butch and Sundance, Bonnie and Clyde, Thelma and Louise (wait a minute…all those people were gangsters or criminals…), Lucy and Ethel, (wait another minute…all those people are white…well, you get the point) Anyway, the Road Trip Twins ride again.
I am grateful for my sister Sandy–who she is and who she is becoming. As I said yesterday in writing about my brother Alan, Sandy too has her imperfections (one of them is being a perfectionist and incredibly hard on herself…) But from where I sit, I see a wonderful, talented, strong, powerful, and loving human being with whom I am proud and pleased to be associated. We are related by blood, but we are connected by love and spirit, and for that I am most particularly grateful.
Road Trip Twins, December 2013
