I am grateful this evening for some very down-to-earth, homespun wisdom from my my brother, with whom I converse on Skype periodically. He reads this blog faithfully (he has since the very first one in June 2011) and every once in a while he reads something in it that catches his attention and determines that I perhaps need some brotherly attention and advice. The other day when I wrote about being a “weary warrior” he commented about it on my Facebook page asking me if we needed to Skype. Clearly he was picking up a particular vibe and wanted to check in and make sure I was okay. I’m not sure if after our conversation he’s fully convinced I am okay, but perhaps he’s a little less concerned than he was.
One of the things I was reminded of was how often I tend to overcomplicate things–I’ve done it my whole life, and it’s a hard pattern to recognize and retrain. Sometimes life gets complicated, but I can guarantee that it’s almost never as complicated as most of us–okay, I’ll speak for myself–as I make it. I have been juggling a number of different variables lately. At home, at work, and everywhere in between it seemed like things have been challenging me, stressing me out. Talking to my brother this evening, listening to him break them down to their simplest components made it very clear to me that I was making everything way harder and feel much more complicated than they actually are. Eschew obfuscation, that is, avoid being unclear. Not quite the same thing but my point to myself is: stop swirling around in ambiguity, unclarity, and complication, spitting and sputtering in angst and confusion and make it easy.
I am not sure how I’ve forgotten this lesson–I’ve learned and practiced it a few times, but apparently in all of the recent drama, trauma, and complexity, I’ve completely forgotten. How can I make this easy? That is the question I need to consider. When I am in the midst of sorting through complex, multilayered issues at work, rather than dive in and begin slogging through them, what if I stopped and interrogated the issue, what if I asked the “easy” question? I have little doubt that if I slow down, breathe and ask the question and really let my brilliant mind noodle for a few moments on the idea of simplifying the matter(s) at hand, that a simple and elegant solution just might present itself.
I saw it in operation just the other day as a thorny situation arose at work that started out somewhat difficult, but when, after a few moments of floundering and angst I suddenly stepped back from it, breathed, relaxed and let the solution come to me, it did! I had one of those moments of knowing what to do, allowing the situation to play out rather than interfering in the natural movement toward resolution. Had I stepped in to “fix” it, I would most assuredly have messed it up.
I have to thank my brother for bringing me back to my senses and helping me remember to allow the things I’m struggling with to be easy. I can remember thinking to myself just the other day, “You’re struggling too hard with this. You have to relax and let go, let the current carry you.” I realized I had been figuratively swimming upstream, expending tremendous amounts of mental energy pushing against things when the easy thing would have been to stop fighting and go with the flow. Don’t get me wrong, as someone who has worked for social change for much of my life, I’ve spent a lot of time fighting against the currents of inequity, injustice, and a number of social ills. And often those fights are necessary. But in the same light as the warrior needing to put down her sword and rest from time to time, as wise person learns when to stop fighting, let go, and let the current take you where it will.
Make it easy. I should write that on a few post-it notes and stick it on my bathroom mirror, my car dashboard, my computer at work and a few other places so I remember it. How can I make this easy? I am so grateful for the wisdom of an elder brother tonight reconnecting me with my own inner wisdom. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
