Lessons in Gratitude Day 951–A Brother for All Times

Yesterday I experienced a complete whiteout; that is, I looked at this blank screen–the window in which I type these words each night and drew a complete blank. No words. Wow, no words. It happens every once in a while, I searched for the muse–any of the nine, really–but they were nowhere to be found. I spun the wheel four times but none of the posts spoke to me and so were not selected. I was grateful but so tired that I nodded off several times with my computer on my lap, and all the while no words. And so I posted no blog yesterday–good thing I wasn’t going for an unbroken streak. I have learned (or tried to) to let go of things like unbroken streaks. I did it before, writing for over 700 days “straight” in the three years since I began writing this blog. So I let go of the streak (though I still write most evenings) and allowed myself to be wordless.

Tonight I have words: words of love and gratitude for my big brother, with whom I Skyped this evening. I am sad for those who do not experience the close bonds of family. It is something that I am grateful for every single day. I have five siblings who love and care for me and for each other, and while my relationships with each of them are different, I have deep love and respect for who they are and who they are to me. Not only do I have five siblings, I also have their partners, some of whom are as close to me as blood family.  In this moment, I again have no words, at least not adequate ones, to describe the depth of gratitude I feel for their loving presences in my life.

My brother Alan, three years older than I, has been a stalwart friend and presence in my adult life. He along with my younger sister Ruth and I were the junior trifecta–the three youngest of the six–and got into all kinds of trouble and mischief, mostly instigated by him. Our two older sisters and older brother didn’t seem to get into near the trouble that we did, though our brother Roland also managed to periodically get caught in the vortex of mischief that Alan created. It was the three of us who were the last at home after the older three had gone off to college and to seek their fortunes. I think that our closeness then has translated into our closeness now, and the bonds between us are as tight as ever.

I wrote a lengthy blog about my big brother in celebration of his birthday last year. This past summer, for a milestone birthday in his life (I won’t reveal which one), I updated and finished a song that I’d begun writing for him way back when I was going away to graduate school many (many) years ago. I played it for him after the big bash he held in his back yard. It speaks, I hope, of the love I had for him back then and still have after all these years. It is as it should be with brothers and sisters but too often is not. I recognize that, and so am deeply grateful to be connected to him and to my other siblings and their families. It is something I hope never to take for granted but to always be mindful of and exceedingly grateful for. And so it is.