I am grateful tonight for the sentiment expressed in that old gospel song–I am grateful for the journey that is my life. Like most lives, like most journeys, it hasn’t always been easy, in fact it has often been difficult. But no matter how deep the valleys, how dark the nights of despair, how painful the experiences, I’ve been given the measure of grace and strength that has allowed me to withstand and not succumb to the difficulties. This is nothing short of a miraculous gift. When I’ve needed strength I’ve found it.
There are days even now when I am tired and frustrated with one thing or another. But these things are so unimportant that they barely register like they used to. I find it difficult to sustain anger for any significant period of time and when I find myself angry at a person, forgiveness is not far from me. I reach for understanding others, even and perhaps especially those with whom I do not agree. I find myself at odds and lacking respect for some of the people around me; I see their lack of integrity and authenticity and at times feel almost sick when I encounter them in the midst of their machinations. But when I take a step back and look again, I see human beings, flawed and imperfect, just as I am flawed and imperfect. I try not to take it personally when people have misunderstood and spoken ill of me. When I look closely at them I see their humanity, even if at times it appears that they don’t see mine.
I have not come to these things easily. I have done a lot of work on forgiving over the years, and will continue to do so. I have found myself smothered under oppressive relationships and suffering poisonous and toxic environments and had to be creative and provide “safe” spaces for others while I myself was unsafe. Still, grace has kept me. During the “series of unfortunate events” that befell me a few years ago when I had reached a fairly significant low point, it was then that I really discovered what I am made of. I learned that even though difficult things happen, there is a core of strength, love, compassion, and many deep qualities that you only discover when everything else is stripped away. Grace.
It was grace that taught me not to despair in what was happening but to learn from it and grow through it. I began this gratitude practice in the midst of that time of confusion and pain. I began volunteering in my community, reasoning that perhaps in giving to and offering my service to others I would meet my own needs in the process. These are the small steps I took on my journey through that rough stretch into the next phase of my journey. Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come. T’was grace that brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home. As I now continue my journey it really has been grace that has brought me safe thus far. I am grateful for the measure I’ve been given that gives me the strength and courage to continue. May it continue to grow.
May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering. May we know and experience true happiness and peace and enjoy the fruits thereof. May it be so.
