The past couple of days have been a bit trying at so many levels. Still, as I come toward the end of another work week, I feel gratitude for my journey. Yesterday I left work early feeling a bit under the weather and knowing that I could not afford to be out sick. I had to come back today to co-lead a three-hour workshop in the afternoon. Although I was not 100 percent, I did pull myself together this morning and came in, having a number of meetings in the morning and prepping for the training during lunch time. In addition to co-leading alongside a team of talent co-facilitators, I also did a bit of work helping to organize and coordinate the sessions. I was worried that the mild headache and dizziness that I felt again today would keep me from being effective. Thankfully I made it through, but headed home having navigated through to the end.
I am grateful to have made it through the day, but am exhausted and needing to sleep. So I decided to spin the wheel and see where we landed. It was nice to have landed a good one on the first try. Not tons of deep insights, but food (or snack) for thought nonetheless. Please enjoy this post from May 2012, Day 292. For me, it’s time to rest.
I stopped at the Park today after I dropped my son off at his job. I really wasn’t planning to walk or do anything like that, I just decided I wanted to stop for a few minutes smell the sea air, listen to the cry of the gulls, and look at the water. I understood suddenly why some people come all the way to the park and sit in their cars the whole time. I guess they just want the comfortable proximity of the Bay without the need to get out and walk around. Of course if had I actually gotten started walking as soon as I’d arrived there I would’ve gotten in my full mile and a half in the time I sat in my car looking. Oh well.
Parked in the lot at the Park was really cool old schoolbus that has been converted into a house of sorts. I found myself looking enviously and longingly at it, wondering what kind of vagabond lives the people inside it led. I surreptitiously took a picture of it through my car window (they were sitting in it so I could scarcely get out and ogle them and take a picture of it.) Of course a bolder person (a friend of mine comes immediately to mind) would’ve knocked on the door and asked to come in and look around as well as take pictures. I being the more shy and retiring type wouldn’t have dreamed of such a thing and thus missed a really cool opportunity. I sat wishing I could get in the bus and take off on a cross-country adventure, not simply to leave all the drama of my current life behind but also to have the freedom to travel all over the country seeing new sights, meeting new people. I suppose it’s never too late to start, though right at this moment it sure feels like it.
The Magic Schoolbus? At César Chavez Park in Berkeley,CA
Last week I spoke to my Aunt who had recently celebrated her 78th birthday. I had to smile as she told me about her latest travels,including a week in Europe. She said she liked to get around and tried not to let anything slow her down, though she confessed that arthritis had lately troubled her a little bit. So I reckon I might still have some vagabond days ahead. I am hopeful that easier times are coming soon when I’ll have the breathing space to begin to get out and about again. Can’t wait.
I am grateful tonight for my good friends Perseverance and Resilience–standing strong and bouncing back. These have been pretty trying times, I must confess and I long to be out of them. But for the time being I must needs continue to rely on those two abilities and many others that I have tucked in my satchel to reach in and pull out when needed. It is remarkable, but when I reach in,there’s always something in there to pull out and what I pull out, I put to use. Perhaps in that regard my satchel is like Hermione Granger’s purse from the Harry Potter books–it holds everything but the kitchen sink (perhaps that too) and whenever she reaches in, she manages to pull out what she needs. Of course, my satchel is metaphorical and her purse is fantastical, but it’s fun to think about. Which is one more thing for which I am grateful–a sense of humor. These days are not easy for me, but I still manage to find ways to smile. Yep, every day. This morning I cried, this afternoon I cursed and swore, this evening I am looking at the whimsical school bus and taking imaginary trips in it and I smile. It’s all good.
May 1st,2012 |
