I know I’ve said this many times before in this blog and elsewhere, but I love my family. For so many reasons and in so many ways they show up as the most loving, supportive, funny, poignant, argumentative, tight-knit, boisterous group of people you’d ever hope to be related to. As individuals they are intelligent, hardworking, dedicated family-people, deeply committed to their loved ones. They are what family could be but isn’t for so many people. I am deeply grateful for each individual as well as who we are as a collective.
In the past 24 to 48 hours three of my five siblings texted me to ask me if I was doing alright. “How are you? I keep thinking not so good cuz your blog is negative.” and “Your recent gratitude posts have seemed fatigued. What’s up?” It is not at all unusual for one or another of them to pick up on something in a post and immediately contact me to see what’s wrong. I am grateful for this on a number of levels. First, that my siblings read my blog. I find this very touching and humbling and gratifying. They are among my most faithful and consistent readers. Second, that they know me well enough to read between the sometimes vague lines of what’s written here to know when something doesn’t sound quite right. Third, they love me enough that when something doesn’t sound right they reach out. As I sit here writing this I know without a doubt that if I reach out to any of my siblings they would do whatever was in their power to do to aid me. There is no more comforting feeling in this world than that.
I once did an exercise called a “trust fall” in which I climbed up a fallen log jutting up several feet in the air. I was to turn around, cross my arms across my chest, and fall into the arms of a team of people whom I’d just met a day or two before. Yeah, right. The first challenge was climbing up the tree given my fear of heights, and then to let myself relax enough to fall straight back potentially plummeting into the ground required a great deal of nerve. But I did it. And when I landed, caught easily and securely held in the arms of my ten colleagues, I looked up into some of the most loving faces I’d ever had look down upon me. That is how I picture myself with my siblings. At any given time one of us is either the faller or the catcher. Either way we are caught or catch reliably, lovingly cradling each faller, rocking them for a few moments before gently setting them up on their feet.
I am grateful to have the strong ties I have with my family, with my siblings and even with the next generation. I love being connected to their children. Sometimes I might feel like “weird Aunt Terry,” but they never make me feel that way. I look forward with much joy seeing them almost as much as seeing their parents. Almost. I am grateful beyond measure for the love of and for my kin folks.
Back in a September 2o11 post I wrote: “I know that for many people, their families of origin are not their families of choice. I am fortunate to have family members that I love and respect and enjoy spending time with. I count my siblings among my close friends. Harper Lee (“To Kill a Mockingbird”) said, ‘You can choose your friends but you sho’ can’t choose your family, an’ they’re still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge ‘em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don’t.’ Well I didn’t have any choice about who my kin are,but I figure that for the most part, I lucked out. And for that, and for each of them, I am most grateful.”
For all who are only children, for those who lost their parents (or never knew them), for any who are estranged from their blood relatives, and for so many others for whom “family” is synonymous with sadness and pain, I wish for you deep connection with other beings who can be for you what your family of origin was not. May you find love and support in other communities, surrounded by people who love and support you.
I am grateful for my family. And for those of you who are reading this today, thanks for your love and concern. I hope this post reassures you that not only am I alright, I am deeply grateful for each of you. May you all be filled with lovingkindness. May you be peaceful and happy. May you be safe and protected from harm. May you be healthy and strong in body, mind, and spirit. May you live with joy, ease, and wellbeing. May all your sorrows, grief, and suffering be held with great compassion. May your good fortune continue and grow. And may you learn to see the arising and passing of all things with equanimity and balance. May this be so for us all! Namaste.
