Lessons in Gratitude Day 76

Today was a relatively good day. I did my meditation in the morning, got some good work done on my project, did some organizing of my job search materials, took my turn around the park with the dog, came home and actually fixed myself a healthy dinner, then came back up to the computer to do a bit more with the job search. After I finish this blog, I will play my guitar and sing for a few minutes then putter around until it’s time to go pick Jared up from his job. It’s kind of my standard day. I’m not sure I have a lot of deep wisdom bubbling inside of me tonight, so I’ll offer a few brief musings. I don’t think that gratitude has run it’s course in 76 days, but my ability to have something interesting to say about it comes and goes!

I remain grateful for the place that music has in my life. I mentioned yesterday the old gospel song, “I Feel Like Going On,” that was sung in church on Sunday. That song is still reverberating in my mind and heart today. I still hear myself singing along, sometimes in harmony, sometimes aloud and sometimes in my head, “I feel like going on….I feel like going on…though trials come on every hand…I feel like going on.” I wrote about the resilience of spirit yesterday–that even when things get hard, somehow my spirit finds wings and I have enough strength to keep going. Sometimes my spirit grows wings and takes me beyond simply scraping through another day. I feel good, I feel like going on. It could be and often is the case that virtually nothing has changed in my circumstances except my attitude/perspective about them; but suddenly my sadness and fear lifts and I can even find joy.

I think all humans have that spirit, that energy inside of us. As an African American I believe that we have a deep spiritual sense that no matter how bad things get (and our ancestors and current day folks knew what bad was), there is an almost illogical but remarkable hope/belief that somehow everything is going to be alright. That hope is reflected through our musical history–from centuries-old Negro spirituals all the way through today’s music, both gospel and secular. So in the midst of uncertainty when there’s no clear path forward and weariness sets in like it did last weekend, I can still pull myself together and sing, “I feel like going on.”

Music has always given me voice, a means to express the pains and joys and mundane moments of life. It has been a really long time since I’ve written a song–the last one I wrote was for my sister’s wedding in 2007. I would love to sit down with my guitar and work my way through the process of creating new music. At the moment, my creative juices aren’t flowing in that particular direction; I spend most of it job searching, crafting my resume , and writing this blog. But perhaps as I maintain my commitment to playing and singing I’ll get the songwriting mojo back. In the meantime, I’m happy to keep playing my old stuff and listening to and enjoying the work of others.

Recently when cleaning out my e-mail inbox (I still have several hundred messages in there), I ran across an e-mail from my cousin John. He’d suggested that I listen to the song “Smile” by the gospel artist Kirk Franklin. He said, “I am not religious but I bought that song and it is my new theme song!” I finally got around to listening to it today and had to–yes, smile–at the synchronicity of listening to this particular song today. I share it with you and encourage you to smile, even and especially when things are hard. Enjoy!

Smile, from Kirk Franklin