Lessons in Gratitude Day Eight

I am grateful for the friends and acquaintances I’ve had in my life. In some cases they can hold up a mirror in front of me that allows me to see things I wouldn’t see otherwise. I had lunch with a friend today, a former co-worker whom I hadn’t seen since I lost my job a few months back. It was good to see her and reconnect on what she’d been up to and she listened as I talked about what I had been up to in my job search, etc.

“You know,” she said, “you would be good at doing strategic planning with organizations and non-profits. Have you thought about doing something like that?”

The truth was, I hadn’t really thought about that and asked her what made her think I would be good at it. She proceeded to remind me about a number of instances in our work together in which I helped lead a group through some brainstorming and planning exercises that helped move things forward. I had forgotten about those times and those skills and how much I’d enjoyed using them. Sometimes in the past few months I’ve had a hard time remembering what skills I actually do have and how much I enjoyed using them. I’d gotten lost in feeling that somehow by being laid off I no longer had anything to offer anyone ever.

Lately it has been through conversations, e-mails and text messages from friends that I’ve been reminded that in fact I do still have skills, gifts, and talents to offer the world. These friends are the angels who have helped keep me going when I want to sit down in the middle of everything and quit. They are all around me, and all I need to do is reach out to them.

I am grateful for my friends and I am grateful for being able to be a friend. They sort of go hand in hand. Over my life I have been a good friend to many people. And, while I don’t do that for what I get out of it, I have realized that the benefits of having been a good friend are now coming back to me now that I need friends in my life. I am also realizing that in times past I gave more to others than I asked for myself. I am coming to understand that true friendship also means that I need to reach out and ask for help when I need it, rather than always being the “strong” one for others.

Asking for help is a muscle I’m just starting to learn how to flex. I’m not great at it yet because I’m used to being the one who gives, but I’m getting better. I’m learning that asking for help/support/whatever blesses the giver as well as the receiver and that it is selfish of me (as odd as it sounds) not to allow people to help me. I still need a lot of practice with this asking thing, but I’ll get the hang of it. Of course, I’ll also keep giving, because that gives me joy and pleasure as well. Every day brings a new opportunity to both give and receive. Today I have been able to do both.