Back in my college days in the mid-1970’s (yes, I am that old!) I was a prolific singer-songwriter. In 1978 I wrote a song called, “Wednesday’s Child” about how woe-filled my life was/felt at that time. I had a lot of angst and suffered from depression back in those days, some of which was reflected in the songs I wrote. At the time, songwriting gave me a voice, a platform from which I could express and share some of the pain I was feeling. Through singing and sharing them with others provided an outlet and a source of healing for me. My mother used to call some of my songs “morose.” I told her I preferred to think of them as melancholy. We agreed to disagree on that one.
So let me tell share the first part of Wednesday’s Child and you’ll get a sense of what I’m talking about.
Wednesday’s Child Cloudy sky, rainy day/I wasn’t going to go out anywayI’ll just stay inside, find a place to hide/And softly fade away.
I’ll turn out the lights/I’ll play the music loud/And lose myself in the sight and sound
I don’t want to see what’s going wrong with me/I still am much too proud.
My mind is tired, my body worn/Did this begin when I was born?
I’m a Wednesday’s child, a Wednesday’s child/So sad and full of woe….
Okay, so perhaps you’ve gotten a bit of the flavor of the song. I was sad and full of woe. The song is played in A-minor. Often throughout the course of my life I’ve said I lived in a minor chords kind of life. Sad, woeful, blue. But here’s what’s also true: I had moments of joy in there as well. Times when I laughed, enjoyed the company of family and the kinship of friends. In that spirit, I share the second half of Wednesday’s Child:
Another day, the sun is bright/it warms away the sadness of the night
The sky is blue, my heart feels new/I’ve been given back my sight.
I still am tired, but I have hope/That someday I will learn to cope
But I’m a Wednesday’s child, a Wednesday’s child/So sad and full of woe I’m a Wednesday’s child, still a Wednesday’s child/So sad and full of woe © M. T. Chamblee, 1978 Words and Music
So even in the midst of the woe of being a Wednesday’s child, I can still have hope. This is a good thing. The past few days have been Wednesday’s Child kind of days. Yesterday, as I reported in my blog, I was in a bit of a funk. While I had pretty legitimate reasons for being in it, a part of me really wanted to be out of it. By the end of the day I’d managed to drag myself out of it and into a much better emotional and energetic space.
Today not only was I not in a funk, I was in a good mood, contemplative and positive. I spent part of the morning having breakfast with Michal and then a good part of the late morning doing an assortment of things, including some really intentional thinking about next steps in my job search/income generation plan. I outlined some steps for myself to bump a few things into gear that I haven’t done before. At least part of involves once again reaching out and asking for help from a specific group colleagues. These are folks with whom I connected and interacted during a year-long leadership program a few years back. It occurred to me that they are just the folks I need to reconnect with, and as synchronicity would have it, I heard from one of them this evening, “out of the blue.” There was a period of time when I was desperately asking the Universe for clear signs. Well, that was one. And am I grateful for it.
I am grateful for clarity when it comes, and I am even learning to be grateful for the uncertainty which brings with it lessons of its own. Each day is a new day, each moment a new opportunity for learning, for gratitude, for being with, honoring and loving whatever arises and unfolds. I look forward to seeing where the path leads next (or which way the bull will lurch!) Until then, I plan to rest well. So be it!
© M. T. Chamblee, 2011
