Lessons in Gratitude Day 166

I am taking a class where I am learning about the “four limitless wants” in Buddhist teaching (they go by a number of different names, derived from the term brahmaviharas–Google it if you’re interested.) Anyway, the four qualities are: lovingkindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. I’ve periodically written in this blog about lovingkindness and more recently compassion over the past few months. I can’t think of better things to be working on in my life and sharing outward to others than all four qualities. This evening we talked about Joy, specifically about the practice of celebrating and being joyful about the success and happiness of others. How cool is that, and to a certain extent how counter to the way we often operate in this competitive, every-person-for-themselves type of society. I continue to be grateful for all that I am learning and pondering from these teachings and for the teachers who are offering them.

As part of the practice of “sympathetic joy” you focus on a person who is experiencing success and happiness in his or her life and wish for them even more, “May your happiness and success continue and flourish!” The Bible says we should rejoice with those who rejoice. So when we see someone doing well, we celebrate and pray for more of it for them. Easy, right? Not so fast! It takes a really special individual who has been developing this sympathetic joy practice to be able to say, “Wow, good for you!” and truly mean it. I know that from where I sit at this particular moment in my life, it’s really hard to say, “Wow, good for you!” and not feel sorry for myself that I’m not enjoying happiness and success in abundance at the moment. But then, that is the practice and that’s what it is: practice. I might not have it in me yet to always celebrate the happiness and success of others, but I start where I am, do the best I can, and practice to get better at it. Until one day I am able to wish others continued happiness and success and really mean it from the core of my being.

Another piece of it is that I begin to experience joy and happiness in my life as it is in this moment.  This requires me to pay attention to the world around me–little “bursts” of joy happen all around me and if I pay attention, I see them. All of this is connected to gratitude, of course. I have learned, since I began practicing gratitude, that as I have looked for things that I’m grateful for, I’ve found them. From really simple appreciations for small pleasures, to deep gratitude for those occasional amazing things that occur every so often. Even in the midst of life turmoil, I’ve experienced gratitude and glimpses of happiness. They are still brief glimmers in the distance but growing brighter.

Right now I am learning and beginning to practice so many new things that forget what I am working on at the moment. What I do know is that it’s all good. It’s less important at this moment that I remember everything and that I “get it right” and way more important that I hold the intention of doing the best I can and dedicating all that I do for the good of everyone. If I can do that, then even my “mistakes” turn into blessings. I have a hectic and potentially stressful day on Wednesday. I hope to be mentally present enough to practice lovingkindness and compassion for myself throughout the day as well as extending them to the people I encounter over the course of the day. May we all enjoy happiness and the root of happiness. So be it!