I had a totally awesome day today. I went to a daylong retreat titled, “Dream, Believe, and Soar” at the East Bay Meditation Center. The focus of the day was about helping participants begin to identify their life purpose. This morning before I headed over to Oakland I remember saying to myself, “Now don’t put too much pressure on this one day. It’s alright if you come out of it still not quite knowing your life purpose or what you’re supposed to be doing next. I mean that would be nice, but really, keep the expectations reasonable.” I can honestly say that I didn’t learn anything new at the retreat. Not one thing. That’s because I already knew what my passions and interests are, what I’ve wanted to do/be since I was a child, and when I feel most alive. I even already knew what my greatest fears and hindrances to moving forward are. What happened today, through the skillful facilitation of my favorite meditation teacher, Spring Washam, was that that knowledge, those answers that already resided inside my heart and head came to the fore in startling, technicolor clarity.
Part of what was so interesting about the day was that at least one of the exercises Spring took us through today was one that I’ve used many, many times in working with high school and college students over the years to get them thinking about their future careers and their motivations for selecting their particular major/course of study. As a life coach I’ve asked my clients some of the same types of questions Spring asked us today. In the spirit of “physician heal thyself” I haven’t had the capacity to address for myself the same questions I so brilliantly asked others to explore. I needed the external nudging of today’s retreat to bring into focus what I need to be paying attention to. So I have some thinking to do, some praying and visioning and dreaming to do. As with preparing a savory, succulent dish, I have to let the ideas and thoughts marinate to tenderize and flavor them more fully.
Among the most important element at this stage is to give myself permission to dream wildly about what I want to do. Sometimes we (I) get caught up in the practical realities of life and feel like we can’t dream wildly about anything because we don’t know how are we going live our dream and still be able to pay the rent, to make a living. We stop ourselves right in our tracks because the dream dries up before we’ve even given life to it. We know what we want to do with our lives, we know who we’re called to be, we know our life purpose. Many of us have known this since we were very young. But we “praticalize” it–we can’t see how it’s going to happen, how we’re going to bring it into being or someone tells us we can’t do it. So it fades away into a dim glimmer of what it once was. The poet Langston Hughes asks,
” What happens to a dream deferred?Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore- And then run? Does it stink like a rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over- like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it explode?”
The good news is that the dream usually doesn’t die out completely; and under the right environmental conditions it can be brought back from the brink. Mine has been hovering at the periphery of my consciousness for quite some time. I have been too afraid for a really long time to really look at it squarely because it’s always seemed so far away. At the moment I have no idea how to actualize the dream, but that’s okay for now. One of my coaching teachers said, “Never let the how get in the way of a good what.” For a long time I ruled out the what (the dream) because I didn’t know how. I’m going to start taking a different approach now. Right now is the time for solidifying the vision and getting excited about it. And while I’m doing that, I’ll look forward to seeing what resources the universe lines up for me that aligns with that vision. This reminds me of a quote that I used in this blog many months ago and is appropriate to this conversation. It has been attributed to both Goethe and to William H. Murray (if you google “Until one is committed” you’ll find it attributed to both.)
Until one is committed,there is hesitancy,the chance to draw back,always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation,there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:that the moment one definitely commits oneself,then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision,raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents,meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can,begin it. Boldness has genius,power and magic in it. Begin it now.
I am so grateful for the bright light that awakened in me today reminding me of what I’ve known all along. I have some thinking and dreaming to do. I’m not going to write about it just yet. It’s not ready for public consumption. But once it starts humming, I’ll be ready to share. In the meantime I encourage you to begin a process of connecting (or reconnecting) to a dream you’ve held quietly in the deep recesses of your heart. Just let it begin to bubble up into your conscious. Who knows what you’ll discover?
Pingback: Lessons in Gratitude Day 194 « Consider this…