Today the teller at the bank where I do all my high finance asked me, “Has anyone ever told you that you have a beautiful smile? You always seem so happy.” I probably smiled in momentary embarrassed surprise before bumbling through a response that at least ended with “Thank you.” This same teller helped me last week with a transaction and said she’d noticed it then. I replied that it helps when the person one is interacting with, in this case, her, is pleasant and friendly. Then the smile simply reflects back the mood and energy of the other person. Nonetheless I left there, well, smiling.
I am grateful to have received that feedback. Heaven knows I do not feel happy all the time; in fact at times I’ve felt downright awful. But it’s good to know that when I am out in the world, I still manage to smile in my interactions in the world, no matter how I’m feeling. The truth is when I am in the bank or at the grocery store or in any of the many places I find myself over the course of the day, people deserve to get my best, or the best I am capable of at the time. It doesn’t cost me anything to smile at the woman at the bank or speak to the person checking me out at the grocery store or wave to let a driver pull out in front of me (that last one is a toughie.) Kindness doesn’t cost me much. Compassion doesn’t require a lot of effort. Smiling really doesn’t expend a great deal of energy (unless you have to keep it up for hours at a time, which for an introvert like me can require some measure of energy. My mama raised me to be kind to people, to go out of my way to be helpful if I can, to smile and be gracious. And God gave me a great big heart where, even though I periodically do get cranky (my children can attest to this), I try my best to be kind.
I still have a lot of growing to do, but I’m grateful to the woman at the bank for reminding me that I do have the means to touch people’s lives. And can be as simple as a smile. We have the power to touch and transform peoples’ lives. I have known this, but I forget. The old song says, “Try a Little Tenderness,” and it’s true. What would the world be like if we offered lovingkindness–or unlimited friendliness–to everyone we encountered. It isn’t always easy, as it is with the friendly bank teller; sometimes we run into people who are just foul-tempered and mean or worse, abusive. But I believe that by and large many of the people we encounter over the course of a given day are just like us, regular people trying to live their lives as best they can. They are as deserving of a smile, a kind word or gesture, as anyone. So why not offer it to them. The prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi begins with the words, “Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.” What better way to go through life than be making oneself available to bring something good into someone’s life. And while we don’t do it for what we can get in return, those who give are often blessed to receive something in return, if only the good feeling that comes from truly connecting heart-to-heart with other beings. So as I continue walking this path that is set before me, I plan to keep right on smiling and sending love out to the people I encounter. We’ll see what happens!
The Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi: Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen © M.T. Chamblee, 2012
