Whew, long day working. I am grateful for it, though I’m a bit tired and the taxes will go yet another day unfinished. I am grateful to be working. Though it is not a full-time, permanent position, it helps me meet some of my obligations, which is a good thing. I work with good people who are doing good work. Although I still don’t understand many of the particulars of what I am doing, I know enough to contribute to advancing the projects I’m assisting with and to the overall wellbeing of the clients served by the organization. As I continue to consider my “what’s next” in terms of my right livelihood, I am glad to be earning income working for a nonprofit organization that serves an significantly underserved population.
Tonight I will offer a few simple gratitudes and close. I continue to be grateful for the assistance of a “long lost” cousin who is helping me research my family heritage. I have never met her in person, but we enjoy a very easy connection and I feel like I’ve known her for many years. She is a very experienced genealogical researcher and I am blessed to have her help. Beyond that, I am developing a friendship with her, kindled in part by our mutual interest in/passion for family history. She has decades of actual experience and I am a rank amateur, but she and another newfound cousin and I have corresponded a lot and together we are uncovering some of the mysteries of who we are and how we got here. It is a fascinating and energizing process. As the self-proclaimed historian of my branch of the family I am digging into this information as time permits (and sometimes even when time doesn’t permit). This has been the quest of my lifetime and I aim to see it through. We shall see where this path leads.
I am also grateful for my two children and the wonderful human beings that they are. I am proud of each of them for who they are and who they’re becoming. Each in their own right are marvelous creations. It is a joy to behold their unfolding. If they were reading this they’d probably ask me what I’ve been smoking to cause me to wax so poetic, and don’t get me wrong, there are times when I want to throttle them. But my prevailing sentiment is that they’re both really cool people with whom I enjoy spending time. I look forward to the days ahead when our lives each smooth out a bit more and we struggle a bit less. The stress of the past 15 months or so has taken a toll on all of us, but it has also made us stronger. Knowing that these challenges will pass keeps us moving forward with our lives with as much grace and gratitude as we can muster.
And since my simple gratitude seems to be about family I want to express my deep gratitude and love for my siblings. As I continue exploring my family heritage, I’ve had occasion to look at a lot of pictures of the early years with my siblings and parents, as well as grandparents and earlier generations. As I look at the pictures and into the eyes of my siblings, my father, my mother I realize how much I love and each of them and how truly blessed I am to enjoy good relationships with each of them. It makes me sad when I hear about how various people are estranged and separated from their siblings. I could not imagine going years without seeing my brothers and sisters. I manage to see everyone at least once per year and talk on the phone and Skype and chat with them with varying degrees of regularity. My life is richer for having my siblings as an active part of it. Though we don’t connect in person nearly as often as I’d like, they are never far from my mind and heart. They are, as I said to a friend recently, my heart and soul.
So as I prepare to take my rest I will recount those things for which I am grateful and will also check in on my happiness project: what has made me happy today. I won’t have to think too hard or look any farther than the photos of my siblings and parents that I had up tonight. May they all know happiness and the root of happiness. So be it!
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