Another day pretty much in the books. I am where I often am at this time of night: seated in front of my computer about to record and share some of my last reflections of the day with those wayfarers who happen to wander onto this page or those who chance to connect from my Facebook page. I’m grateful to be here sharing some thoughts on things I am grateful for and/or the ways in which gratitude enriches my life and the lives of countless people.
I am grateful for the way this day has unfolded, as I often am. The day begins early and I don’t know what the day holds, only what is happening in that moment. That’s the way of it, though, isn’t it? We make plans for our day, our week, our month, our year, our five years, our lives, but we really only have this moment and then this moment and after that, perhaps, this moment. Given that awareness you’d think we might spend less time planning our lives and more time living them, eh?
This morning I woke early as I usually do–now I keep the alarm set, though on weekends I sometimes try to “sleep in” until 7 or sometimes even 8 a.m. This morning, however, I’d set the clock for 6 a.m. so I could rise and participate in an annual (mostly) event: watching the ladies’ final at Wimbledon. I usually only watch when one (or both) of the Williams sisters are playing, which fortunately for me has been 10 of the last 13 years. Today I woke early to watch Serena Williams play. (If you are not a tennis or sports fan, I apologize in advance for my brief foray into athletic-speak…) I was also writing in my morning journal–I had turned the television on mute. I’d glance over periodically, but Serena seemed to have the match well in hand.
My journal writing was a bit choppy as you might expect it to be given that I was half watching the tennis match out of the corner of my eye. My energy was anxious and emotional as I wrote my daily journal, and I seemed, as I often do, to have more questions than answers. As if in response to my agitation, the tennis match suddenly tightened up and my favorite appeared to be losing steam. I watched her lose her composure and begin losing games while her opponent gained in confidence as she fought her way back into the match, taking the second of the three sets. I found myself even more anxious and, though I kept the match on with the sound muted, I only stole a glance over every once in a while. I continued writing about my struggles, but also about my need to “drink deeply from a wellspring of courage and hope that will see me through to better days.” I knew I needed to dig in and fight back, even as I watched Serena Williams fight back and regain her composure and confidence. She took the third and deciding set with ferocious determination to once again be the Wimbledon champion. During one of the post match interviews she gave, Serena talked about how she had battled through serious illness and depression over the past year and that she had reached a point where she thought she would never play tennis again. She said her goal at that time was, “just to live.” Not only did she live, she worked her way back into the game–the life–she loves and capped off her improbable return by winning a championship on tennis’s biggest stage.
As I watched the last few games of the match, including her incredulity and total joy when she hit the winning shot, tears were rolling down my face. Throughout the interview I found myself thinking about what she battled through to regain her winning form. It started simple: “I wanted just to live.” As I think through the challenges I’ve suffered through over the last year I realize that my goal has been much the same: I want to live, to be happy and at peace with life and within myself.
I am grateful for the lessons from the tennis match this morning and from a retreat on “Gratitude During Difficult Times” that I attended this afternoon. Much of what I’ve heard and seen and experienced this day has helped me to realize that though everything hasn’t always felt good or been easy, I believe that I am nonetheless on the right track. It’s all about having a little faith. This journey of gratitude that I’ve been on for the past year (my anniversary of starting this blog passed on June 30) has helped me stay on a relatively even keel, even though the ride has been quite wild and unpredictable at times. Taking time each day to focus on something I am grateful for has provided an anchor for me when my little ship was tossed and flung about by the storms of life. I remain thankful for having developed this practice of gratitude and hope to continue to strengthen it as time goes on. “It’s easy to be grateful when times are good,” the retreat leader had said this afternoon, “It’s a lot harder when times get tough.” She’s right about that. And although I have had a grateful heart throughout much of my life, it hasn’t been until this past year that I’ve truly cultivated gratitude even in the midst of some of the hardest times in my adult life. Gratitude has saved my life, kept me sane and grounded.
Gratitude has become popular these days, and that is a good thing. I hope it “takes” and sticks rather than fades away like so many other popular but passing fads. I for one plan to stick with it and perhaps go at it even harder as the days and weeks ahead unfold. Stay tuned. Gratitude is going global! Want to come along?
