I made it! I really wasn’t trying to, didn’t set out to do it, but here I am–on the 365th day of expressing gratitude. I posted the first Lessons in Gratitude blog on June 30, 2011, writing for 227 straight days until February 12 when I took a break. As I wrote at the time,
“I had finally hit a wall that I couldn’t seem to climb over, walk around or tunnel under. I’d had writers block quite a few times in the previous 227 days, and, in the days leading up to my hiatus on February 12, the blocks had begin building themselves into the wall I hit that day.”I took a week off and resumed with LIG Day 228 on February 19 and took the next week off, writing day 229 on February 26. I had begun to realize the importance that writing this blog had taken on in my life only once I had stopped writing it. As I wrote in LIG day 229,
“A funny thing happened during my hiatus from writing my daily gratitude blog–I lost some of the power that had come from focusing each day on one or more blessings I am grateful for. I still expressed gratitude in some form many times a day; but I definitely lost something when I fell out of the habit of taking this time of deliberate focus on gratitude. It’s going to take me some effort to reestablish the momentum I’d gained from writing every day for nearly eight months. I imagine that the wall I hit a few weeks ago when I’d written the last blog before my hiatus will still pop up in front of me from time to time. And, as I did so many times on those days, I’ll push through and find a way to say what I am grateful for that day. Right now I am simply grateful to be back thinking and writing about gratitude.”After that two week span between February 12 and the 26, I went back to consistently writing every day. And in these 136 days–four and a half months–I’ve still had days when I’ve struggled through emotional lows when finding any words to express gratitude about anything was excruciatingly difficult, and yet I managed it. Because the one thing that has been consistent and clear in my understanding of this unfolding process is that there is always something to be grateful for; there is never not a time, when I cannot find something for which I am truly grateful. It could be that I’m speaking for solely for myself here, but I doubt it somehow. I believe that if we’re willing to look for even the tiniest of blessings, we’ll find it. Some of us have no trouble whatsoever finding something to complain or be negative about. If you’re going to expend the energy to search through your life looking for something, why not look for something good? And if you’re going to take the time to express your thoughts about what you’ve found as you’ve examined your life, why not speak, write, sing, mime, etc. about the good things you’ve uncovered in your exploration rather than glorifying and expounding on the negatives?
I have a reasonably grounded, laid back, relatively unexcitable temperament. No one will likely ever accuse me of being a “Little Mary Sunshine,” as one who gushes about how everything is wonderful in a squeaky, Pollyanna, isn’t life great kind of way. A friend gave me a T-shirt with a line drawing of a glass with liquid in it and a caption reading, “Half Full.” At the time she bought it for me it was as an expression of optimism that I would perhaps someday see the glass as half full. But lately my intentional focus on gratitude has had unanticipated side effects–I’ve now begun to suspect that indeed the glass might be moving in the general direction of half to slightly more than half full. Hmmmm. I can now add this improved sense of optimism to the growing list of benefits to the practice of gratitude.
Okay so perhaps I’m writing this a little bit tongue-in-cheek, but the truth of the matter is that my attitude has improved as I’ve focused on gratitude, although those living with me might differ with my self-assessment. As I think about where I could be emotionally, mentally, spiritually, intellectually, even physically had I not been practicing gratitude, it gives me pause. Because as much as I struggle here and there, stressed, depressed and exhausted, I know I am in a much better space than I could be because I practice gratitude.
I’m grateful for this journey of the last year. I have felt at times bruised and battered by the circumstances of life but as a line from the poem Invictus states, “I thank whatever gods may be/For my unconquerable soul.” I’m not sure I would say that my soul is unconquerable, but it has certainly held up pretty well, all things considered. I don’t know if I have another 365 days worth of blog-writing energy. If you had asked me how long I thought I’d write when I started I would not have believed I would write every day for a year. I have a lot more writing I want to do on a lot of subjects related to other personal and professional interests. For the time being though, I’ll keep writing about my gratitude for the many, many wondrous, wonderful things in and around and through my life. I’ll keep inviting you to find some means of expressing your own gratitude in ways consistent with who you are (not everyone wants to write a daily blog.) I look forward to many more days of sharing the gift of gratitude. What are you grateful for today?
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