I have to admit it: I’m grateful for coffee. For the last several years I have primarily drunk decaffeinated coffee. I found I could make the change with little or no effect, so I did it. Lately I drink a lot less coffee than I used to, even decaf. Not sure how it happened exactly, as I was/am a real coffee aficionado, having drunk the stuff in one form or another since I was five years old. Seriously. I and some of my siblings started drinking coffee with our mother when we were children. I’m not sure when she started treating us to having coffee breaks with her–of course our “coffee” was largely composed of milk and sugar with a little coffee poured in for flavoring. But then of course, that’s how she took it: light and sweet. Over time I stopped putting sugar in my coffee and put in a bit less cream (which is actually a combination of half and half and almond milk), but a morning cuppa joe was until recently a daily phenomenon. So after the second day in a row of going to bed at 1:30 a.m. and rising at 6:15 a.m., I decided to take a walk on the wild side and order a “half-caf” (equal parts decaf and regular coffee) at Starbucks this morning. And thank goodness I did.
Over the past few days on my wacky new schedule, my tail feathers have been dragging at work. Everything took way longer than it should have, and I found myself periodically nodding off at the computer screen. This morning I remembered that on those occasions when I’d had a grande half caf before starting work I was a bit more focused and awake throughout the day. Hmmmmm. So this morning as I woke again having gotten less than five hours of sleep, I purposed that I would stop at the coffeeshop right near my job and actually add some caffeine to the mix. And darned if I didn’t have a much sharper, clearer, productive day. I don’t intend to reestablish a daily caffeine habit, and I don’t drink caffeinated soda or energy drinks (and I don’t intend to start). I do think, though, that I’ll purchase some ground caffeinated coffee to mix in with my decaf in the mornings; not every morning, but certainly those while I’m on this schedule. We’ll see how it goes.
So my initial gratitude is for the coffee and the pick-me-up it gave me when I could have been dragging around this morning. My related and secondary gratitude is that I was able to get some good work done and felt pretty productive today. I won’t totally attribute my overall sense of wellbeing today with having had a jolt (albeit a small one) of caffeine this morning; but what it did do is clear out some of the fog so I could let my natural sense of wellbeing bubble up. And even though I am finally winding down and beginning to feel the effects of five hours of sleep, I was nonetheless quite productive during the middle part of the day when one hopes to get a fair amount done. Note to self: add some caffeinated coffee back into the diet on days like today.
I think tonight is my last night for a couple of days doing the 12:45 a.m. train station run; and I don’t have to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow–I can sleep in until 7. But I am going to pay closer attention to my body and what it’s telling me about rest and sleep and energy and try to adjust myself accordingly. I am grateful that, for the most part, I am in one piece and mostly able-bodied, which is no mean feat given the impact the stress I’ve been under could have had on my body. And while I still have a lot of work to do on cultivating mindfulness and achieving calmer states of being in body and mind through meditation, I am grateful to be standing strong in relative good health. I do not take this for granted. Tomorrow morning I’ll probably do the half caf thing again. Although I perhaps don’t need as much mental sharpness during my day tomorrow volunteering at the Food Pantry, it would be helpful to have some. For now, I’m going to relax a bit, perhaps take a nap–I still have three more hours before it’ll be time to head out to the train station. Who knows, I might even get a second wind and get a little bit of work done. Either way, I’m grateful to have had a productive day overall. If I don’t do another thing tonight, it’ll still be good.
