And here we are at the end of another week. My oh my the time is streaking by now. There’s no point in pretending it’s not, so I might as well go along for the ride. I am relieved to have reached the weekend, because even though I plan to work all of Saturday and Sunday packing and clearing out various parts of my house, I get to sleep in until 7 a.m., heck maybe even 8! I am exhausted and look forward to sleeping a little more than I do during the week and perhaps getting some much-needed.
This evening I am deeply grateful for my friends. It is characteristic of introverted people to have a few, close, deep friendships (extraverted people, by contrast tend to have a larger number and greater breadth friendships) and true to my nature I have developed a handful of close friendships in the seven years I’ve lived in California. Today I bookended times with friends—breakfast with one friend this morning and dinner with another this evening, with work and a visit to my wonderfully helpful therapist in between. All of this was preceded by an extremely valuable, practical, encouraging phone conversation with one of my sisters. I am deeply grateful to have wonderful people in my life—siblings by birth and others by choice.
Case in point: my friend Roland—who was the subject of the very first blog post I wrote for Lessons in Gratitude back in June of 2011. I realize how blessed I am to have Roland in my life. Today I talked about my life, about the lessons I’ve learned from the trials I’ve faced, about a lot of things. He listened deeply and intently, and every time I tried to bring the conversation around to him and how he was doing, he deflected it back to me, asking probing questions to get more deeply at something I’d said. At one point when I tried to divert the conversation yet again, he stopped me saying, “No, wait a moment, I want to sit with what you just said.” We sat for a few moments in silence as he went inward, head slightly bowed, eyes unfocused. Then we resumed, moving on to other related topics. I meant to write a brief note to him later, telling him how much I love and appreciate him, but got bogged down in work, traffic, and a whole host of things and didn’t get to it. I’ll do it before I take my rest this evening, sending him a link to this blog post so I can show him that I value him so much that I tell the world (well, my faithful readers) about what a wonderful human being he is.
It is such a gift to be listened to. I believe all humans crave connection, desire intensely to be known and understood by another human, to be listened to and really heard. That is what I get from Roland and from my friend Mary, with whom I had dinner tonight. Each of them possesses the talent for deep listening and for providing a gentle, loving container for me talk about whatever might be on my heart. They are different in how they do it, each bringing their unique presence to the conversation, their authentic selves to the friendship. These relationships are priceless beyond measure and will rank right up there with those important connections that will remain with me for the rest of my life. There are a number of people who hold particular places in my life, who fulfill different roles. Each has their unique space notched into my heart. I may not write much about them, but I am deeply grateful for them. (I hope you know who you are.)
I will likely soon be moving far away from these friends, and I will find myself creating relationships with new people in the new place. I hope I am able to develop a few sustaining friendships in the new place, while maintaining as best I can the friendships I’ve enjoyed out here. Technology makes it a whole lot easier to connect visually now by way of real-time video chats. It’s obviously not as good as being in the same physical space, but it’s got to be one of the next best things. And as corny as it sounds, I carry them in my heart. I’m grateful for my friends; she who has friends is rich indeed. And so I am.
