One of these days I’ll feel rested again. I’ll get acclimated to living back in an Eastern time zone. I’ll remember what humidity and mosquitos are and adjust myself back to those eastern phenomena. And when the snow flies, it’ll come back to me about how to deal with that. When I start my job in a little over a week I’ll be getting accustomed to that too. I haven’t really spent too much time thinking or feeling over the past few weeks; mostly I’ve been reacting. I think I’m still mostly in react mode, but am no doubt gradually moving toward feeling as it really settles in and dawns on me that I no longer live in California. Because I visit the Washington DC area relatively regularly (at least once per year on average), it still feels like I’m simply here for a visit. As soon as the truck bearing all my earthly belongings shows up at my little house in Maryland (it’s due to arrive on Monday) and I move in and spend my first night there, then it will become a much more present and immediate reality.
I am up way too late this evening: I’m still in that nether world between time zones. I just spent an hour talking/Skyping with my daughter. She’s in the Pacific time zone which I left just five (or is it six) days ago. It is nearly midnight here on the East coast. My body still hasn’t quite made the adjustment. One of the things that drove me nuts when I was in California–and I never really got used to it–was the three hour time difference. Nearly everyone with whom I wanted to talk with on the phone lived in the Eastern time zone. When I would normally call my family or friends after I’d finished dinner, I realized that by the time I was sitting down to dinner, most of them were headed toward bed. Now I am the one heading to bed when my daughter is free to be chatting with me. And I’ve only been able to talk with my son once since I left on the last day of September.
I am grateful for the grace to make these adjustments and transitions. They needn’t be bumpy. They might be weird, but I’ll settle into it. I am looking forward to getting myself and my dog into a routine once we get into the new place. For now, I’ll do the best I can to prepare myself for the next wave of changes that are coming: transitioning back to full time 45 hours/week working, commuting either by driving 45 minutes one way or taking the subway, which I’ve not done more than occasionally, and most importantly reconnecting myself with each of my sisters and their spouses and families for the first time in many, many years. I am looking forward to these various transitions–some with a bit of anxiety and trepidation, others with delight and anticipation. But that’s life, isn’t it?
I am grateful for the many lessons I’ve learned throughout my life, and over the past several months in particular. Like the old folks say, “I wouldn’t take nothin’ for my journey.” I think some people would want to trade the hard times in for an easier life, and I definitely understand that. But there’s a real gift in understanding what you’re made of and learning from all experiences, including and perhaps especially the difficult ones. No, I wouldn’t take anything in trade for my journey, and while I don’t always understand what’s happening while I’m in the midst of it, often I will grasp it at a later point. Armed with this awareness, I can tolerate and sometimes even embrace what’s happening in the moment because I know that after a while it will make sense. That is definitely a good thing, a very good thing indeed.
