I fully expect that tomorrow night when I get home from work I am going to want to plop onto my sofa and vegetate in front of the television for the entire evening. I’ll probably write an abbreviated blog and will conk out, turning off both alarms and planning to “sleep in” on Saturday. (Of course I haven’t slept in for months and am not sure my body would do it if I tried it.) This week has felt nonstop and late this afternoon I felt like I was on information overload. And this after only the first four days. I need to amp up my vitamin and supplement intake. And, I need to get more sleep. I am grateful nonetheless for the transitions I’m still in the midst of and am continuing to practice patience with myself as best I can.
Two weeks ago I completed the 2800 mile cross-country drive, landing in the greater Washington DC metropolitan area. My body is still at least partially on West Coast time (Unfortunately, I go to bed at California time and wake up on Maryland time), though each day I’m getting a little more acclimated to the time zone. Each day I get a little more comfortable with my 26 mile commute, trying to understand and flow with the patterns of traffic as well as the scenery and signs along the way. Each day I find reasons I’m grateful for living where I do–from the morning songs of robins and cardinals, the shrieks of blue jays and the chattering of squirrels, and all manner of natural sounds, to the overall sense of comfort I feel here.
Today, though, I felt a twinge of homesickness for California–I still get emails from the meditation center where I spent so much time last year. I am sad to be missing so many good classes being offered by the wonderful and diverse teachers and appreciated by a very diverse group of sangha members. I miss weekly breakfasts with my friend Mary, weekly coaching chats with my friend Nancy, and lunch with my friend Roland. I miss the sight of the San Pablo Bay as I turned onto my street in Pinole and the silly antics of the wild turkeys that frequented our condo complex. California represents so many things in my life–difficulties as well as joys–and it’s still a bit odd to realize that I don’t live there any more. That is a transition that I imagine I’ll be making for quite a while yet. As always, I will do my best to approach it with as much kindness and gentleness as I can.
So much of what I’ve gone through over the past two years has taught me many lessons, not only in gratitude, but also compassion, patience, empathy, kindness toward others and also toward myself. I have learned to lean on others, to ask for help and support, and to receive graciously with gratitude. I have been intentional in practicing and learning to cultivate what Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron calls the four limitless qualities and Mushim, one of my teachers at the East Bay Meditation Center in Oakland refers the “four immeasurables”: lovingkindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. As I move along my own eclectic spiritual path, developing and strengthening these capacities provides a good foundation and grounding for me in the midst of all the transitions and change.
I am grateful to be coming to the close of a very good, interesting, and long week. I am blessed to have begun working with a good group of people and am learning to navigate my way through the brave new world outside of the East Bay of California. There are a number of things I miss, and am excited about the new things I have gained. I look forward with gratitude as I move more fully into my what’s next.
