I am reminded once again how very fortunate I am to be a part of a large, loving family. I’ve always known and felt this, but it has become so much more evident to me over the past two years during which I’ve leaned heavily on them for emotional and physical support. It has certainly become clear to me also now that I live in the same neck of the woods as my sisters for the first time in nearly 30 years (even longer since I’ve lived near my two older sisters.) This evening one of my sisters-in-law called me to check in with me and hear how I am settling into my new life here in the East. It was wonderful to hear from her; we haven’t spoken on the phone a lot over the last few years, but recently we’ve been able to speak much more often. I am blessed to have in-laws whom I have known for the better part of my life. I’ve known one of my brothers-in-law since I was about six years old, and my sister-in-law with whom I spoke this evening has been part of my life since I was about 14. I have grown up with them, and I suppose in some ways they have watched me grow up.
My family is not perfect; some of my siblings don’t get along particularly well and at times some of us fell in and out of good relationship with one or the other of our parents. I know there have been times in my life when I think my siblings thought I had gone off the deep end with some of the decisions I made in my life and where those decisions took me. But in spite of that, they have loved and supported me throughout the years. With all of our ups and downs and ins and outs I still believe we are an amazing, relatively (no pun intended) close-knit family.
I’ve written a lot about family over the months since I first started writing this blog. I acknowledge the role that they have played in shaping life–my values, my outlook on life, etc. and have wondered at times what role I’ve played in shaping theirs. When one is the fifth of six children, it takes quite a while for the impact you have on your elders to begin to show up. And yet if I think really hard about it, I can think of examples and instances when I know I’ve positively affected my siblings, and to a certain extent my parents. Over the past 18 months I’ve had to depend on my family in ways I wouldn’t have predicted, and wow have they shown up. I am hopeful that in the weeks and months ahead as I continue to settle in and my life calms down, I’ll be able to begin giving back to them in some measure. It’s not a matter of given back for what they’ve done for me, but rather who they’ve been to me during this time and throughout my life. I want to be there for each of them in whatever ways I can.
There are some schools of thought that say we choose who our family is going to be before we’re born; we choose our parents and siblings and other people so that we can learn certain lessons that we’re on earth to learn this time around. If that’s true, then I made some pretty good choices. I am pleased to be on the planet with these fine people and if I had it to do over, I’d choose them again…only maybe I’d be the older sibling this time.
