Sometimes I am amazed to be living the life I’m living. It’s not so much that it’s a wonderful life or that I’m living out my wildest dreams or anything like that. It’s just really fascinating to be observing myself walking through my days. It can feel really quite surreal at times. I am grateful to be where I am at this moment in my life.
I remain grateful for the simple things. For the past two days my commute home has been a breeze–only 57 minutes yesterday and close to that today. I am continuing to work on getting myself into a sustainable rhythm that will make my time in the car relaxed and calm. It’s been a mixed bag; while I haven’t suffered from road rage (it’s mostly only been road irritation), I still want to be more chill and enjoy the drive. I’m going to be doing it for the next several months, so my plan is to enjoy it.
I still have a lot to do to get myself fully settled into the various elements of my life. Sometimes the simple act of figuring out what I’m going to have for dinner and then the process of preparing it can be overwhelming, depending on the kind of day I’ve had. I surrender at times and default back to having cereal for dinner. It’s quick, requiring little in the way of prep time, and I don’t have to worry about what I need to fix for myself. My younger sister has chastised me roundly for this practice, and I am getting better at it. I am grateful for the extent to which I have gotten my act together and am moving forward, slowly but surely.
I am grateful for settling into my new job. Again there is a lot to learn, a lot that needs to be done, and many things that I need to approach carefully. But I am grateful to be contributing my ideas, insights, energy, and my voice in the various meetings and interactions in which I find myself. After months of not using my brain on the types of situations I like working in–those that require creativity and vision and planning and collaboration–it is so nice to be using it now, working on initiatives that will positively affect people’s lives. I’m glad to be working with a good group of people who in various ways are equally committed to doing good work on behalf of the various constituencies we serve.
Tonight I am really tired (again) and will sign off shortly. I also need to work on my physical energy level, though some of these efforts are going to take some time to establish. I realize periodically that I am not quite as young and adaptable as I once was, though I have surprised myself with my ability to bounce back from setbacks. I do hope to continue the progress I’ve made toward getting myself onto an even keel and staying there for a while. For now, the best I can do is be as patient as I possibly can and let things come to me rather than trying to chase them down or make them happen.
I look forward to continuing to settle down, even as I am mildly aware that they just might remain unsettled and a little unclear like the “snow” in a snow globe that’s just been shaken. I hope to approach that with the same degree of patience and calm that I’ve developed over the past several months and learn to roll with whatever’s happening at the moment. And through it all, as always, be grateful.
