It feels like it’s been a long day, though I wasn’t at work and really didn’t have much to do today. I think it is post-Christmas let-down. My daughter and I spent a semi-lazy morning before going out for lunch then heading to the airport where I would put her on a plane back West. Was she really here for almost three weeks? Of course she spent the first week she was here laid up sick with strep throat, then the rest of her visit went so fast we could scarcely believe it was over. Although the time felt short, I am glad to have had her with me over these days. She was able to spend time in my house, reconnect with the dog, come to work with me, spend time with her aunties, and see first hand where I have settled and that I am alright. I am grateful for that.
Tomorrow will be a relatively quiet day. After all the hubbub of the holidays the sudden return to relative solitude will probably feel a little odd at first. I have some cleaning and organizing to do–my office is still laden with boxes and my desktop is a mess. In the process of getting the spare room ready for Michal’s habitation, I hastily tossed a number of things into my office. Now both rooms are messy and in need of serious straightening and dejunking. I have a lot of things I need to put in order as the year ends and 2013 begins. But I have to laugh somewhat ruefully as I write this because part of me wants to spend the next few days doing absolutely nothing.
I am grateful for these next few days when I don’t have to go to work. While there are plenty of things I could be doing and an even larger number of things I should be doing, the possibility remains that, for tomorrow at least, I won’t do any of them. Not a single one. We shall see. I’ve spent the better part of my life doing the right thing, doing what I was supposed to do, doing what was expected of me. And for the most part that has been a good thing. Still, I am grateful for those times when I haven’t lived my life by the shoulds and have instead listened to the distant beat of my own drummer and done my own thing. It hasn’t always been easy, and there have been consequences when I’ve chosen to go my own way in opposition to conventional wisdom. But I know that these are all threads woven throughout the tapestry of my life; to remove one thread is to change the richness of my life. Each thread adds it’s own color and texture to the pattern of my life, it is vibrant and dynamic.
So I look forward to the next few days. I hope to balance my need to get some constructive and practical things done with my desire to do something whimsical and fun like putting together my race car set that hasn’t been out of the box in a few years and zipping the cars around the track. Or perhaps I’ll get out one of the jigsaw puzzles I’ve had for years and have never finished putting together. Or, I’ll work on my novel. The possibilities are so many that it would be easy to get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing. That would be quite sad and I’m determined to get to the end of my holiday break from work and say, “Wow, I’m glad I did that. It was fun.” We’ll see how it goes. I’ll be sure to report back.
